Summer Yearnin'

49 days until my summer vacation and I'm a point where I just can't wait. I feel so deprived of my family; I miss my parents (surprisingly), my sisters (one being in the Philippines), and my cousins. I miss my high school friends, we're all separated at different schools. I feel so cut off and MIA from everyone as I've gotten so wrapped up in this pledging process. When it comes to summer, we'll all be on sync with the same vacation, no more excuses about school, homework, etc. Yeah, some people will have work, but we will be closer in distance at least. I can stay up as late as I want without worrying about class the next morning, and sleep in whenever I want to. A trip to Disneyland with friends? I hope it happens!

I'm here counting down the days until summer, but I definitely need to seize the days left. I feel privileged to be able to live on campus, a 5-10 minute walk way from my classes, the cafeteria, etc. without having to worry about parking or anything, an elevator button push to access to my friends a few floors up or below, and next year, that will all be gone. This pledging process is past the midpoint, and everyone stresses how no matter how hard this may be, we need to enjoy every minute because all our pledge brothers will never spend as much time together ever again.

Bottom line is, it's hard for me to seize the moment if I'm feeling really frazzled, need a vacation, and just want to be with my loved ones.

March Mistakes

Is there something about the month of March? Last year at the beginning of March, I made one of the biggest mistakes in my life. Thankfully, I was able to get past it, grew stronger from it, and learned from it. This year, March rolled around again and I made another horrid mistake. Sure, it wasn't the same mistake, but it is still one that I terribly regret and wish I never took part in. It sucks that I'm still suffering from people taking jabs at this open wound, but this is all just motivation for the people who took part in it  to learn from it, because TRUST, never again will we make this mistake. The more people talk down on us for what we did, the more we will work harder to prove them wrong in the end. A mistake is an opportunity for us to grow and become stronger, just like a diamond in the rough.

Sucks when you would think all these people we thought were here to support us, are instead slowly turning their backs on us. It's quite ridiculous how much drama I'm in right now, this is probably worse than my senior year in high school. And to think you're not supposed to be going through drama in COLLEGE...

Post-Spring Break 2012

I've probably had the most calm Spring Break in my whole life. For the first time, I didn't have the same Spring Break as my friends, and it rained the whole week. I'm glad it gave me a little pause from my pledging process, although it was constantly on my mind what I still had to do, but I didn't get to sleep in as I had hoped. I woke up almost everyday to run errands, to do classroom observations, or to do community service. I was burdened by the thought I had a psych midterm waiting for me after break, so I would try studying everyday, only to do not so hot on my practice tests, but slowly improving! I stayed home for most of the week, where I realized that my thoughts could literally be the death of me. I have come to a conclusion that I need to keep myself busy in order from all these thoughts coming to me, and as I wound up having not much to do this week, I would lay in bed only to have my mind try to silently corrupt me. Negativity aside, I was able to bond with my mother, who forced me to get a Hello Kitty umbrella from Burlington for only $6. Having no hood, we head outside with no umbrella, and she refused to use our newly purchased umbrella because it was new, resulting in me having to walk to the car in pouring rain. Oh mother...

Now, I continue to study for my midterm for my fraternity tomorrow, only to need to wake up in a few hours to laundry, pack up, and head back to SF for study hall and pledge meeting. Here's to the last break before summer vacation. I am way too anxious for summer now... to reunite with sleep, with friends, with family, and to just RELAX.

My bangs are slowly becoming nonexistent. 

Rambalaya #5

1. SPRING BREAK!! Okay, well technically my Spring Break isn't until I get out of my 12pm class tomorrow. Time to finally get a break from APhiO, school, and to get my sleep back.
2. May the impossible happen. I think my shift of interest in guys is moving from "my own kind" to white guys or whatever. O_O maybe just another phase?! haha. Mixed babies are beautiful.
3. I want my life back. At this point, I just can't wait to crossover.
4. "TRUST NO B*TCH."
5. Trust is sacred to me. Once you break my trust, you can't expect to get it back.

Motto of the Moment

Take things one step at a time.

oh, and stop once in a while to breathe.