Hot 'N Cold

Nothing else to say but that, and I can never make up my mind. Typical of me.

Sabotage

Wale - Sabotage (ft. Lloyd)

But just when it gets good, he's gone & I'm left back at start...

Chillax

Today I woke up feeling like it was an off day, and whenever that happens, I try to make adjustments to improve my day, attitude, or feelings. Throughout the day, through some thoughts, I grew an increasing annoyance and disapproval of someone, but then I shook it off because it was accumulating to my already off day. I told myself it was a test of my patience and humility, and no point of making a fuss because this ain't high school drama anymore. So I'm done being annoyed with that I guess for now and just letting it go.

For my group speech next week, none of the people in my group want to put the binder together with all our outlines and bibliographies so we drew names for it. I told myself there's a 1/5 chance it'd end up being me so I didn't really care and whaddya know.... WHABAM, my name was drawn. And from there, I got myself a semi-Hell week next week with my Bio midterm and a 10 minute speech for our group speech. I'm just glad my Bio midterm got pushed to Thursday or else they woulda been on the same day... the day after Halloween. At this point during the day, I just really wanted to rant and complain, but then my optimism got to me again and told me that there's no point in complaining. Complaining is wasting time that you could be using to get things done and over with.

So, my lessons learned today: Grow my patience and humility with people, stop complaining, and just... DO WORK SON. Taking things one step at a time. Breathin' easy. Staying optimistic.

C'mon

Today was my last day of my Teaching & Tech class for the semester, and we had to fill out an evaluation regarding our professor. He left the class while we took the surveys, and everyone was hustlin' and bustlin' about how they were going to be super honest and critical on the poor guy. Why? As the class came to an end, everyone became all frustrated and stressed with all the projects that were assigned throughout the semester but were due at the last class (today). Our professor was warning us all semester that the due dates were coming up. I guess no one really took his warnings into account, and instead, started to blame his teaching style. Hello people, we're in college now. Time management is key. Maybe I was the only one who took his warnings into account and finished my projects gradually, instead of gradually cramming it the night before. Our professor is really nice, and he genuinely shows that he cares. He told us today that he was going to grade our projects as "2nd drafts" and would email us if there was something we could change to get an A. Then everyone gets mad, saying "WTF I stayed up all night when it wasn't really the final due date?!" when I'm like dang dude, he's being nice and giving us an opportunity to get a better grade instead of grading us and making that our final grade. I don't know, but damn, it made me realize how unappreciated teachers are when there's no one really to blame but the student themselves when it comes to getting work done. What you put in, is definitely what you get out. Blame the sinner, not the sin.

Thought to Ponder

"A calm sea does not make a skilled sailor."

A friend of mine posted that quote up somewhere, and it really opened up my eye. That quote basically means that if life was always easy and smooth sailing, we would never grow. A friend was venting and crying to me the other day on how her love life was always on the rough side, and I told her that these love problems that people go through will always prepare them for the next person who will enter their life. If it wasn't for these problems that life sends us, we would never grow stronger emotionally, or learn what to do if faced with other trials. And as I type this blog up as a quick break from a stressful time of cramming and studying, I wonder if I'd really learn in school if everything was always easy. So I continue to look at this quote for motivation as I go through the difficulties of college. Overcoming these time consuming and difficult tasks and projects will benefit me (hopefully) in the future. It's always an amazing feeling after reaching that finish line and looking back anyways.

Alright, time to go back and drown myself in my homework. Had myself a super productive weekend and it's continuing up to now.

Week 10

My bangs grew back in hella fast. Lotsa studying to do this week, dear God be with me.

6 weeks left until intercession!

Hmm

Friends don't make their friends feel dumb.

Zigzag

As I study for the 2nd Bio midterm that's coming up in 2 weeks, I think to myself how anxious I am to just get all this general ed over with and to get straight to focusing on the classes that will actually help me with the career I'm pursuing. It's hard to stay motivated in these classes, especially bio, where I know I'm cramming tons of info into my head that I know I probably will either forget or won't need to know once I'm out there teaching. Sometimes I really wish I could just hop into my career, but I know I'm definitely not ready for it yet. More than halfway through my first semester, so just 4.75 more years to go... Patience is a virtue.

Progression

Progression. From July to today. Slowly, but surely!

Fam

I had myself a good weekend with the fam, so I will do one of the rare blogs where I talk about what I did.

Saturday, I slept in after the eventful clubbing night before and spent about 4 hours working on my Bio disease brochure project. I packed then Alyssa & Nolan picked me up around 7pm and we had some good conversations in the car. We met up with my sister and her boyfriend, and my other little cousin Christian at Alyssa's house then we packed into the car with some In-N-Out and drove to Hollister for the Halloween Corn Mazes or whatevz. Took like an hour, especially since we kinda got lost. My anxiety was growing in the car because I was getting hella scared. If you guys know me, I get scared hella easily. -_- We get there and it's called "Swank Farms" hahah, looks chill then we bought our tickets and walked to the Haunted Ranch which was the scary ass place you walk around and people scare you. In line, the dressed up people were already going around and scaring everyone. One of them straight up just stuck their head and rested it on my shoulder for a good 15 seconds. What the fuhh man, I thought they weren't supposed to touch you because another one started petting my cousin's hair. I was hella stuck onto Alyssa and that was the scariest sh*t I ever went through in my life. Going through houses and paths and people coming at you hella dressed up and talking to us, screaming in our ears. We had to run at one point because a guy said "I'm counting down from 10 then the chainsaw guys are coming out...." and we started hella running. The paths were so narrow and I kept slamming my shoulders on the sides but at that point I didn't care. Funny because at the last part, the chainsaw guy came out and my little cousin ran away but the rest of us just kept walking and he wanted to chase after him, but we were in the way hahaha. So he was right behind us, but at that point I got used to the fact that they're not really going to do anything to us. It's hella funny to look back at too. Nolan kept talking to the monsters but that wasn't a good idea because they'd scream at him or chase him, and we'd end up running and he was in the back so he'd be like "DON'T LEAVE ME OMG GUYS WAIT!!!" Yep. After that we launched pumpkins and looked at goats, cool.

Today was my little cousin's birthday party and it was good seeing all my cousins again! I haven't seen them since my cotillion. The babies are growing so fast too, and getting cuter by the second! Had to repeat myselves to all the uncles and aunties how college was too. Being with the fam this whole weekend makes me miss living back at home even more.

Twas a good weekend.

Clubbing?

3:38am. Back in my dorm from my first clubbing experience. Feet and legs are a killer, never wearing heels again. My phone screen is super cracked now. Did I have a good time? Meh.

So a bunch of friends and I hit up Club NV or Tonic Live (whatever it's called) for my homie Raymond's birthday (ironically, I barely saw him because he was "busy"... nahhmean. haha). I've always been hella iffy about clubbing because it just seems so grimy and crazy at clubs, but I guess I decided I'd see what it's like since a lot of my friends were going anyways. After walking around in skirts and heels from getting a little lost, we get there. The guys in line didn't seem that bad looking so I didn't think it'd be toooo bad. Then I realized all the guys started looking the same. Line ups. Flannels. Button-ups. Diamond stud earrings. We get in and it's chill inside. The DJ was pretty good; but damn dude, clubs aren't really for me. I like dancing to good music but I've come to realize that I could enjoy it by just plain dancing to it, not grinding and bumping or whatever. I've really respected couples who did that in high school, just danced side by side and swirling each other in circles. Cheesy, yeah. I guess you can say I'm a plain jane who gets a kick out of life from the simple things. I wasn't diggin' how guys were trying to feel me when we were dancing or how they tried to kiss me. Gross... rejected guys who asked to dance because they weren't cute. Shallow me, but I was already irritated. For the last hour or so, I just sat down with my friend wanting to go home with aching legs. Bobby Brackens being there didn't make it better either.

Uh, so yeah... clubbing isn't for me. At least I have that figured out now.

Presence

I was working on taking notes to study for a Bio quiz until a friend walked in to talk about a money situation for our friend's clubbing situation on Friday. He and I eventually strayed off the topic and eventually started talking about hella stuff... drama, love lives, funny stuff, classes, etc. It was a non-stop convo that lasted about an hour and honestly, it's those kind of things I love. I love the company of others and just having a good conversation. Sometimes I'd rather just sit down and talk with people instead of wanting to do something crazy to have fun. I believe everyone has their own unique story to share, and most times, I grow respect for people out of them. Whether it's laughing our asses off, crying our eyes out, or just having a plain good convo, I enjoy every moment of it (in most occasions, that is). That's why I like being friends with people from different cliques -- you get to people's view of the world through different eyes and perspectives. The presence of others is the best present to me.

Static

I'm rubbin' off on you too much, aren't I?

Blood

I miss my sisters.

Hizzome

I've never felt so anxious to be home in a while. Schoolwork has definitely been swamping me these past 2 weeks and it's time I got to relax. My only Friday class tomorrow was deemed optional by my professor, and no school next Monday and Tuesday due to "Fall Break". Thank you USF for this 5 day weekend. MHS Homecoming game tomorrow to reunite with most of my high school friends. =)

Luckily this time I didn't have to Bart home. My sister and her boyfriend picked me up then I 3rd-wheeled them to dinner at the Pier Market on Pier 39. He's a really nice guy haha. He bought me a pinkish koala T-shirt before they picked me up because my sister told him I love koalas. Man, I love koalas but I wouldn't wear them hahaha. The shirt says "Oh nom nom, what's my name?" (Rihanna reference?). Idk if I'll wear it out... but thanks dude. Haha, maybe on my lazy days.

Koala Gang or Die. I spread it to my floormates too. (joke)

Females & Males

A thought I randomly pondered upon today... I think I get along better with males than females.

I don't know, I feel like I am more at ease when I'm hanging around guys than with girls. "Bitches ain't nothin' but hoes and tricks." hahah, kidding (somewhat), but as a female, I'd like to agree that most girls are hella judgmental and full of drama. Boys are way more chill, on the real. They don't fuss about drama as much as girls, and just like to have fun. Weird that I think this way because I come from a family of 3 girls and a mom and dad. Unfortunately for my parents, they had me because they wanted a boy but they got me =P This also could have derived from the bullying I experienced from a group of girls in the 4th grade, where I was made an outcast and shunned, which resulted with me balling it up on the courts with the boys in my class until the 6th grade. Truthfully, I wasn't bad at basketball either. When it comes to sports, I honestly try proving myself I'm not one of those sissy girls and I can "keep up with the dudes". Junior year, I hung out with the "bros" which consisted of my private school guy friends and they can seriously thought of fun and legit things to do that I'm sure girls would never have thought of. It's annoying how it's assumed you like a guy if you hang around him a lot tho, it's just that most times, my preference is to hang around guys. Most guys give more legit advice tooo! They're just like the big brothers I never had.

Just a random thought I've decided to rant about at 2:54am. =P

Workout

My life everyday after I finish classes. Yep, everyday, glad I've been keeping up since school started. Clears the stress, and gives me some time to study and read. Only to tone, not to burn fat! 

Aye tho... people who hop on a machine for only like 15 minutes then tweet "GOOD WORKOUT AT THE GYM (:" after. Seriously? lol

Unknown

Standing at the bus stop, wind breezing through my hair. As the fast paced city passes me by, something caught my eye approaching the stop from behind. You were walking in the a crowd, but something, I don't know what, made you stick out from everyone else. Eye contact, I look away; look back, eyes met again. You're gripping onto a pizza box, I'm holding onto some Jamba Juice. Nothing but silence and eye contact. The bus comes, I hop on, but you're still at the stop.  I take a seat and look out the window, the hesitated eye contact continues through the window to the stop. The bus pulls away. And just like that, I'm left with nothing but curiosity.

Just another one of those instances where you just wonder what would happen if a simple "Hi" was exchanged.

Nostalagia