this past thanksgiving made me learn a lot. typically, when thanksgiving comes to my mind, the only thing i have done is thought about food at family parties. although i did not do it this year, my heart was telling me i need to give thanks to my family and relatives. the whole purpose of thanksgiving itself is to give thanks for what you have, and the life you live today.
as the clock ticked closer and closer to 12am when i was at my cousin's house yesterday, i had this really big want to go shopping for black friday. my mom, who refuses to stand in those long lines and having to walk through big mobs, decided for my sisters and i that we would not go shopping this year. i was pretty bummed i admit, people always asked me at school where i was gonna shop, and for once i had to say no where. as the clock passed midnight and my family and i went home, i began to reflect on thanksgiving, and think about what i was thankful for.
many people complain about their lives, and how they feel depressed. i'm guilty for that, but really, somebody on this universe has it way worse than you. i complain about my life, how i feel miserable, but i should be thankful. why? i have a pretty nice roof to live under, a closet full of clothes, food, a tv, a computer, and of course -- a family. not everyone in the world has that all. that was when i began to forget black friday, i'm already thankful and content with the clothes i have already, so why go for more? perhaps i should save my money, and maybe one day i'll make an effort to donate clothes to the needy.
when i got home last night, i began to clean out my closet of clothes i didn't think i'd wear anymore, and clothes i didn't think would last me my years throughout high school. i'm halfway done, and i got at least 25 pieces of clothes cleared out. thinking about bringing them to this store my sisters go to. it's where you give them clothes you're willing to donate, and they pick the ones they're willing to sell, and you get money back for it. it's pretty much like recycling clothing, it's good for the earth too. have you ever thought about what will happen to your clothes when you don't wanna wear them anymore? might as well give it to someone who will!
as i look ahead on my weekend, i see me doing a bunch of projects and major cleaning of my room. somewhat, i already feel accomplished.
have a nice weekend!
Friday, November 23, 2007
Saturday, November 3, 2007
falling apart
it almost feels like my life is falling apart right now.
little did i know this morning what that something would come into the mail and give me a punch into my face. what was it? my grades. back then in middle school, it'd be all whatever for me. however, it's highschool now and it's a real nailbiter for me. i already knew all my grades, except for biology, and that was the only grade i was wondering about.
just yesterday i was talking to jonathan about mr. hentschke's class. he was saying how mr. hentschke was a reaal laidback guy, and he is! he lets students go to the bathroom whenever he wants, and even if he sees it being abused, he doesn't really do anything about it. he sees students slacking off and fooling around in class, he stills us to knock it off, but rarely and almost never enforces it. i actually thought i'd pass this class in flying colors if i did my best on tests and did all the homework, in which i kind of did. however, this year i've been doing a horrible job on studying for tests. i've begun to realize this class is an independent class. jonathan told me yesterday, how we decide to act and when to pay attention in class reflects on our grades. my grade was slammed into my face, and i do believe i somewhat deserve it. i'm guilty for being one of those people who stick earbuds into my ears during notetaking and videos, and i mess around in class a lot too. i dont know, but it's time for a change, i'm seriously going to take my grades seriously.
English I (G. Roy): B
P.E. (Edwards/Lamb):B+
Spanish I (Marion): A
Biology (Hentschke): D
Geometry (Veltri): A
Cultural History (Castro): A-
i was watching TV when my mom says, "whats this D?!" and my heart seriously skipped a beat. never in my life have i received a grade lower than a B. it could of been a C, i seriously would of been okay with that, but a D?! i flipped out. i ran to look at my report card. everything looked so good, but that D was like a rotten egg in a carton of gold eggs. my mom yelled at me, she was disappointed in me. "you're not going to graduate as an honor student." that was my #1 goal. but really, i was more disappointed in myself than she was. but to have those words hurled at me, knowing she has no confidence in me anymore, it gave me this sensation as if my soul was starting to die.
i was struggling to keep my grades up in all my classes. i got a B in english because it appears i didn't turn in an assignment that i did, and my english teacher doesn't accept late work. = a B+ in pe because i was a non-swimmer in PE, but i passed all my tests. i really tried to do my best in volleyball to help raise it, and i'm going to take weight training seriously for sure. in spanish, i do my best to pay attention, biology i already explained. math isn't a problem for me right now since it's easy, and i used to have a B in cultural history. however, a bit of studying and really listening helped bring it up a bit.
i really need to prove myself and my mom wrong. my goals, no more going out afterschool. it will cause me to slack. i need to do my homework before anything else, and i need to take it seriously. less computer, my myspace went byebye already anyways. STUDY for the tests like forreal. so far my defintion of studying right now is reading before the test and that doesn't seem to help much.
i'm really at my lowest low right now. i've been going through a lot enough as it is, and this just added another knife to stab my soul. i don't know to do, who to turn to. no one seems to understand. tired of crying out of no where just thinking about all these problems, i feel like i'm at a state of depression. no kidding, i haven't been overwhelmed by so many problems until now. high school's one tough cookie, and hah, i have to go through 4 years of this stuff.
all i can do is pray, and hopefully God will send me an answer to help me get out of this struggle.
"there's no such thing as problems, they're called opportunities." -Robbie Ocampo
trying to take this in positively, it'll make me stronger in the end. praying for a better day...
little did i know this morning what that something would come into the mail and give me a punch into my face. what was it? my grades. back then in middle school, it'd be all whatever for me. however, it's highschool now and it's a real nailbiter for me. i already knew all my grades, except for biology, and that was the only grade i was wondering about.
just yesterday i was talking to jonathan about mr. hentschke's class. he was saying how mr. hentschke was a reaal laidback guy, and he is! he lets students go to the bathroom whenever he wants, and even if he sees it being abused, he doesn't really do anything about it. he sees students slacking off and fooling around in class, he stills us to knock it off, but rarely and almost never enforces it. i actually thought i'd pass this class in flying colors if i did my best on tests and did all the homework, in which i kind of did. however, this year i've been doing a horrible job on studying for tests. i've begun to realize this class is an independent class. jonathan told me yesterday, how we decide to act and when to pay attention in class reflects on our grades. my grade was slammed into my face, and i do believe i somewhat deserve it. i'm guilty for being one of those people who stick earbuds into my ears during notetaking and videos, and i mess around in class a lot too. i dont know, but it's time for a change, i'm seriously going to take my grades seriously.
English I (G. Roy): B
P.E. (Edwards/Lamb):B+
Spanish I (Marion): A
Biology (Hentschke): D
Geometry (Veltri): A
Cultural History (Castro): A-
i was watching TV when my mom says, "whats this D?!" and my heart seriously skipped a beat. never in my life have i received a grade lower than a B. it could of been a C, i seriously would of been okay with that, but a D?! i flipped out. i ran to look at my report card. everything looked so good, but that D was like a rotten egg in a carton of gold eggs. my mom yelled at me, she was disappointed in me. "you're not going to graduate as an honor student." that was my #1 goal. but really, i was more disappointed in myself than she was. but to have those words hurled at me, knowing she has no confidence in me anymore, it gave me this sensation as if my soul was starting to die.
i was struggling to keep my grades up in all my classes. i got a B in english because it appears i didn't turn in an assignment that i did, and my english teacher doesn't accept late work. = a B+ in pe because i was a non-swimmer in PE, but i passed all my tests. i really tried to do my best in volleyball to help raise it, and i'm going to take weight training seriously for sure. in spanish, i do my best to pay attention, biology i already explained. math isn't a problem for me right now since it's easy, and i used to have a B in cultural history. however, a bit of studying and really listening helped bring it up a bit.
i really need to prove myself and my mom wrong. my goals, no more going out afterschool. it will cause me to slack. i need to do my homework before anything else, and i need to take it seriously. less computer, my myspace went byebye already anyways. STUDY for the tests like forreal. so far my defintion of studying right now is reading before the test and that doesn't seem to help much.
i'm really at my lowest low right now. i've been going through a lot enough as it is, and this just added another knife to stab my soul. i don't know to do, who to turn to. no one seems to understand. tired of crying out of no where just thinking about all these problems, i feel like i'm at a state of depression. no kidding, i haven't been overwhelmed by so many problems until now. high school's one tough cookie, and hah, i have to go through 4 years of this stuff.
all i can do is pray, and hopefully God will send me an answer to help me get out of this struggle.
"there's no such thing as problems, they're called opportunities." -Robbie Ocampo
trying to take this in positively, it'll make me stronger in the end. praying for a better day...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
