Farewell 2008.

Crazy how 2008 went by so fast, it seemed like just a month ago we were counting down and I dreaded the fact of 2007 ending at my cousin's house and we were banging on pots like crazy. However, as I dreaded the new year, I never expected to be where I am today, and have all these great memories.

What came to me in 2008? Hmm.. let's take a look back.

-Eureka '08 hosted by Sunshine Central. Sonics was fun! Eureka was alright I guess.
-Going to Sadies with Jerremy Ferrer. I set up a scavenger hunt and Kevin Miranda dropped the cake I made that said "SADIES?"
-Trojan Olympics, the stress, the hardwork, the fun, the laughter. I know some of the upperclassmen have had enough of hearing this, but freshmen got 2nd place! I never expected that we'd go that high! =P Oh hollywood.
-Class Officer Elections. Wanted competition but did not receive any, had a lame speech. But hey, I won!
-Confirmation Retreat! That's the only time everyone started loving the program and loving each other! It was a real eye opener and face slapper in my opinion =P
-Getting confirmed! Getting closer to God =) Being forced to eat at Happy Buffet after, eww.. haha
-Rising of a Rhapsody musical, putting together a hella good production in one week! It was short, but hella good. James was my partner and he kept making me laugh. Rio was so horrible at pretending to cry, "LAZZIE!"
-CFC-Y Conference 2008. FINALLY. After passing up going to Conference 2 times because it was too much, I ended up only paying 80 bucks for a sweet plane ticket to Florida. =) It was a great experience, but my first plane trip wasn't that great... hahah read my past blogs in July if you want more.
-iminlikewithyou.com and that chatroom. After finding an ex-confirmation classmate on Blockles, he brings in his friends who are now some of my closest friends! We enter a chatroom where I'm hella hyper off Snapple and I go crazy, like seriously. Haha.
-SF Adventure! Me and Michelle D got seperated from everyone and got lost. Not buying anything, but seeing Passion. Went to Outback for my birthday after, goooood times.
-My Birthday -_- everyone was yelling at me and getting mad at me like right before so my birthday started out hella shiityy. Went to Santa Cruz, ate at Chili's.
-Start of Sophomore Year. 0 period bites :3
-Homecoming Rally day was a stressful piece of @#^& that was so painful because of leadership. -_- Homecoming game! Someone got shot or stabbed or something though o_0 Funfunfun. Cucumbers!
-Homecoming Dance with Matt! DJ sucked but it was pretty fun I guess. Couple picture = =(, awkward hand and my ugly smile.
-Halloween Party @ Kevin's! Watching people eat donuts offf strings. Being a fairy! hitting everyone with my wings >=)
-Secret Santa Party @ Kevin's again! Pamilia reunited and restrengthened. Apple cider, pictures, funnnnn.

I'm kinda getting lazy to think of more, but damn, 2008 year was legit for me. Each year gets better, and the best is yet to come. I've gotten the opportunity to bust out of my shell more and grow with love and faith with God, and I also went out hella this year I must admit. But, I've really had the time of my life. I learned lessons, gained and lost friendships, went through drama, and met people who are now the best of friends. I've also gained friendships with the people I probably would of never expected. Who knows what 2009 has in store for me? =)

So today though, went hiking @ Mission Peak with Gian, James, Matt, and the Edis. It was all good at first until we started getting higher and the wind was blowing like crazy and it was mad cold, like seriously. IT WAS FREEZING, everyone's ears and cheeks were turning red and I was getting numb all over. There was like fog and mist everywhere, it looked like Emily Rose. If I had to guess the miles per hour the wind was, I'd say 10-15. It was crazy.

However, this hike gave me good time to reflect and look back on this year. It started out pretty good, but I got myself into a bunch of crap I hella regretted getting myself into. I learned from it, and changed my bad ways, and I was renewed. I learned how to be a better person, and I began to love my neighbors more and more, no matter how annoying, mean, etc. And I ended this year off pretty great. As I sit here typing on this blog, I'm glad to say I have the greatest friends in the world that God has really blessed me with, and a great faith and love with God.

What a year 2008 has been. 2008, you've been good, but 2009 is about to roll in. I'm ready to take on whatever God has in store for us this year. WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO =)

Love,

*Another blog inspired by a convo with a friend.. haha

It's pretty damn impossible to go out and not lay your eyes on a couple PDA-ing, and honestly, it makes my heart feel so cold. Yep, as I walk by roughly 10 couples everyday at school, at the mall, on the street, my heart burns with envy. Everyone seems to have fallen in love before or presently, but not have I. I have yet been able to fall asleep with my heart up in the skies so much in love in wonder if he's the one, and awakening knowing me and him are in love with each other for who we are. I have yet to hold a hand so tight with the trust you'll catch me when I fall, or feel the warmth of him holding me knowing that we're going to be there for each other through it all. I've actually have chances of doing so, but I screwed up every single time. Other times, I guess you can say I don't measure up to the girls those guys found more insanely gorgeous. I've gone so far for going for guys who treated me like absolute shit because I was blinded so badly by old memories. Honestly, I try so freakin' hard, but I just never feel like I'll never be enough..

But damn, it's just so insane just thinking that right now, hopefully, the guy I'm going to commit to and be with for the rest of my life is somewhere out in the world right now, breathing and living, and maybe we know each other, and maybe we don't. All I know is we don't expect it right now, and who knows, we may not have even laid an eye on each other. I'm too young to think of such a thing, but it's crazy.

Mosdef, it can be a little bitter to think about, but hey, I'm only 15. I have the rest of my life to find him. =)



Private blog ftw. Ask for access, haha.

The Littlest Things

I decided to IM a friend today because I haven't talked to her in awhile, and she told me she liked it when people IMed her outta no where. It kinda inspired me to blog about the simplest things that make me smile.

Of course, what I just said above was that when people IM me out of no where, especially when I'm bored, makes me smile. It's kinda like you thought of me and decided to talk to me. Also, waking up to texts are nicee. Comments from people you never expected on MySpace, and smiles from strangers on the streets. Phonecalls outta the blue at night, and spontaneous adventures. Watching others being happy, especially my close friends, brings a smile onto my face.

The littlest things can make me smile, and who knows? The littlest things can make a difference in others lives. =) Praise God for random acts of kindness, you guys should try doing as many as you can everyday!

Starlit Nights.

Yesterday went on an adventure in San Francisco with Gian, James, Matt, and Catap! The original plan was to hang out with cousins, but my cousin had a basketball game so yeah. At 2ish, James and Matt picked up Gian and I then we went to get Catap. Interesting car ride, probably was singing to myself most of the way. We went to James' apartment to help him pack up to move out. It was hecka cold in there, the floor felt wet but it was actually just moist from the coldness. Just chilled, looked through his pictures, watch someone drive disastrously in GTA, be in disgust from Matt's feet o___0, and helped James pack up.

We were all hungry so then we took the Muni downtown, took like 15 minutes. We ate at the elegant foodcourt at the mall there, I ate Japanese food. It was pretty good, then after we went to "Papa Beards" hahaha inside joke, and I got a strawbery cheesecake. Hella good =O haha. We went walking around after to stores, etc etc. Later on, Gian needed to pee so we went to Macy's and had to go 5 floors up. And on the way out, the guys spotted Levi Super Skinnies IN KIDS which is cheaper so only Matt tried it on while me James and Catap messed around in the toys with the giant elephant. "It's only 300 dollars!" "MOM, CAN WE GET IT?!" The whole day we pretended James was our dad and Gian was our mom and the rest of us were their kids haha. Hecka yelling at Gian the whole day "CAN I GET THIS MOM?!" Then we took pictures, and more pictures out in Union Square. Went to Forever 21 where someone's style was degraded lmao, so sad. After, Urban Outfitters where I bought the Kid Robot breakfast thingy since my bagel broke, and I got a stupid egg -_- I always get the ugly ones =( H&M, nothing, then we headed back to James and loaded up his car. Headed home, pretty fun car ride. Dropped off Catap, then home. Another fun and spontaneous adventure. =)


Starlit nights,
they keep me looking at your charming eyes.
The way the stars impact your crazy mind, it makes me leave everything behind.
Maybe now, we can open up our minds to see,
& realize the things we didn't know,
Please don't pass go, just watch the ever glowing..

Such a catchy song, haha

Until the end of time.

Today I woke up hella bored and everyone was leaving the house. Asked people if they were busy, and made plans with James + Matt and got Rio to join along. Soo, today I went on an adventure with them 3, 3 of my closest friends that can alwaaays make me laugh =) First we went to some Japanese grocery store which was pretty interesting except I couldn't read anything haha. We got some Choco Pies and Hi-Chew.

After, went to Valley Fair which was expectedly packed. Got my sister her belated Christmas present from the Apple Store, some long asss lines -_- After, went to Forever 21 with Rio but left because it was hecka hot and stuffy in there, and met up with James & Matt in Macy's Mens. They tried up Levi's Super Skinnies and haha, idk I'm not used to seeing them in skinnies like that o_0 hahaha. Talked with Rio after supposedly those 2 went to look for more but LEFT US -___- It's okay, got to spend time with Rio! Met up with them, then James took us to his aunt's house to eat. Good food. Also got to chill with Pamela and Theresa =) We went to Safeway to buy stuff for Pazookie and rented The Ruins and The Strangers and we went back to my
house.

At my house, we played Rock Band, then made the pazookie which wasn't that great in my opinion because it was too crispy rather than soft then watched The Ruins. IT SUCKSSSSS. Even though I already watched it, I still think it's hecka dumb. Haha, they went home like at 1ish.


You're just so full of it, full of it..

2008 Goals

I was reading my old blogs for fun, and I found my goals I made before 2007 ended.

2008 Goals
[ ] Find my talent
[/] Return to Track
[ ] Less Procrasination
[x] Lead a YFC Meeting
[x] Run for Sophomore VP & win
[x] CFC-Y Conference
[ ] Get a 4.0
[ ] Sleep earlier
[ ] Learn guitar
[ ] Learn drums
[ ] Read the bible
[ ] Get back to Basketball
[x] Stay Best Friends w/ Vivian
[ ] Six Flags Discovery Kingdom
[ ] Six Flags Magic Mountain
[ ] Learn to cook my mom's food

Wow, 4 and a half goals done out of 16, hahah great. There's a half one because I didn't exactly get back to track yet, but I kinda did.

Well, I sure felt successful in 2008. -_- I think I'll actually push for my goals for 2009..

Edit later.

CHRISTmas

This Christmas was pretty good with family.

Christmas Eve = Uncle's houes in Gilroy. My sisters and I were the first ones to get there, and my uncle told us stories about stuff we never knew about our uncles and aunts. I'm pretty amazed by my dad's side of the family and where they've come from to where they are now. 2 girls, 6 boys. And most of them had hella kids of their own, and I haven't even met most of them. But dang. Everyone came later on, and we ate. Lechon was so goood omg. I'm starting to like lechon more, haha. Or maybe it was because I was really hungry, but I used to not really like it o_0 After, we played Apples to Apples again btu it was only fun for the first 5 minutes, took pictures, then we watched Mamma Mia. Oh gosh, my aunts all started dancing like crazy and they weren't even drunk then we all started singing to the songs. It was fun. =) At 12, decided to call my closest friends (except a few because I thought they'd be sleeping) instead of just texting them because I'd rather tell them in person. Went home, then yeah. Had to sleep downstairs cause my dad took over my room since relatives are still staying in my parents' room. I was on the phone with Matt trying to be as quiet as possible since my mom was in the living room while I was in the family/dining room couch. It was hard 'cause he couldn't hear me. Then we called James and it was pretty funny. I guess I was loud though because this morning my sister told me she wanted to come out of her room and tell me to be quiet haha. Went to sleep like at 4:30am =X Oh yeah, opened presents! My sisters got me jackets that I loveee, yayyy!! =)

Christmas: Struggled to wake up for church because I was so tired haha, woke up to a smelly ass house because my mom was cooking for the party. I got ready for church, then went to help with projectionist at 12:30pm mass. I messed up like 3 times. For the following reasons: Songs were out of order, I got too into singing the song so I forgot to change it to the next slide, confused on where we were at. Hehe whoops. After, went to cousin's house near EVHS for party and ate because I was hella hungry. Hella foood ;O We just chilled and I'd say the most fun part was when we were all singing karaoke lmao. I got hella money tho from relatives and yay! But I think I'm gonna put it in my savings box my sister is keeping for me because I need to save up like 400 bucks for a road trip my sisters/cousins are planning for summer since 4 of them are graduating and then 300ish for conference. Holy crap O_O Yeah, I'm thinking about putting all of the $150 I got today in there because I already have $120 in there. Sooo, if I do, $150 + 120 = 270 and then I'll need to save $430 in 6 months, and if I divide that by 6... 70 dollars a month. Uh, I don't know how I'll pull that off, but okay haha. We'll see.

I just love Christmas because everyone's in such a loving mood.

"Remember, Christmas season doesn't end after Christmas day."

Merry Christmas everyone, I hope you enjoyed your day and didn't get too fat. Happy Birthday Baby Jesus also.

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If you'd just realize what I just realized...

Presents

As I sit in this car on the way to a family Christmas party with a trunk full of presents, I began to ponder upon the meaning of Christmas.

This year, I've realized more about the meaning about Christmas. Christmas is the day God blessed us with the love of our life, Jesus Christ. Praise the Lord he was born, amen? and our way of celebrating this is giving each other presents. It's supposed to be a jolly season, but here we are stressing about finding someone the perfect gift. What makes us so happy about receiving a really nice shirt, and risking giving someone a gift that they might not like? In my heart, I believe that presents handmade from the heart are more meaningful and bring me more happiness. To know someone put their thought and feelings into something for you, warms your heart. Money can't buy you happiness, especially with this horrifying economy.

So therefore, this year almost all of my presents were handmade from the heart :) if you're a close friend, and didn't get a present yet, I'm still working on it! Takes a lot of hardwork and is kinda fun for me, but it's worth it in my opinion.

Let us all rejoice, for Christ is going to be born.. :)

God will BREAK you to MAKE you.

EDITEDDD, REMOVEDDD, DELETED! Haha, I just needed a venting session. thank you Lynn and Marykay =) Love you.




This Christmas Eve started out real bitter.

But I've decided I'm going to start walking again, seeing what else He has to offer me. I'm tired of just standing here as time passes by. You're happy, and I guess I'm happy. That's what it's all about right?

Like a tall glass of lemonade,

Another day with the cousins! So, my cousins came over like at 2am last night to sleepover and we had the house to ourselves which was pretty sick, no parents whatsoever. We were hella laughing because my cousin was wearing thermal pants so he looked hella weird and luckily he kept his shirt pulled down, and he was hella just dancing around and it was hilarious. They all slept in my parents room, and it's been hella long since all of us slept over together. I love the holiday season =)

Woke up this morning at 10:30am, and I cooked breakfast for all my cousins and set the table and everything. I kinda had fun with it, and I felt like a mom. Hahaha, cause my sisters were both at work. Got ready, etcetc. We just chilled around Milpitas and ate dinner at Sen Dai, then back to my house for Apples to Apples which was hella funny ahaha. Then Uno which was a fail because it took too long, damn.

Christmas Eve is tomorrow, and my parents are coming home as well. It was fun having this house to just me and my sisters, but they're gonna have to come back sooner or later. =P

HAHAA, after doing some thinking and talking with a good buddy of mine, I'd like to call a white flag on these emotions. =X

Bored, I know James is going to read this, but hey, if you ask me who they are, I'm not gonna tell you hahah
1). Calm yourself. You're seriously going to act like that with them around?
2). Have a safe trip! I'm going to miss you =(
3). Feels like I haven't seen you in forever.
4). I miss you! I know you're going through a tough time, and you know you're in my prayers. I really hope you can get through this, I know you will.
5). Sighh, you.. I don't know anymore.
6). I don't think I can trust you that much now.
7). Sometimes I wonder...
8). Rock on *****!
9). You talk too much crap, stop =/ I don't wanna get into that game.

Ugh, don't you just hate how sometimes you do your ultimate best trying to tell someone you're there for them, and always will be, but feel completely ignored? You just wanna give in, give up, and let them be, but you're afraid they'll only notice you when you're gone. And by that time they notice... it'll be too late. Too late for something that could of been great.

Changes,

Today I woke up and had no breakfast to eat, so I had to cook myself some food. Decided to cook up some egg and vienna sausage fried rice, it was okay. After, my uncle picks up the fish that my aunt brought from Hawaii and it stinks up the house hecka bad. Then, I take a shower because I'm finally going to get a haircut. My plan was just to get it trimmed a TINY BIT, thin out my hair, and relayer the V-cut. FAIL. The lady hella thins out my hair, and she hella cuts it. I'd say 2-3 inches of my hair is gone now, and she cut my bangs when I told her not to. I don't like how short it is, I like my long hair better! =( Time to grow it out again, sighhh.

Later on, cousins + cousin from LA come over! We just chill, then we go to Great Mall because someone was craving caramel apples. I decided to get my eyebrows threaded for the first time also! It didn't hurt that much, only a few hairs now and then so now my eyebrows are threaded. They're okay I guess, better than before. Went shopping a little, went to Old Navy. Long lines everywhere, I was getting irritated because it was so crowded and so many rude people. Kinda felt claustrophobic. Went to Safeway to buy food to cook, and we went back to my house to cook and eat it while watching Stepbrothers. Now here I ammmmmm!

Bored, decided to take pictures of my new haircut that I so adore. -_-

(hair is up)

Put a smile on!

Parents, aunt & uncle, and my cousin left this morning for Vegas! YESSSS, FREEDOM. Gotta enjoy it while it lasts. =) They left like at 7am, and I woke up at 10:30am to get ready for church, then rushed to finish someone's present. I ended up being so rushed I wrapped it in foil =P Church, I like the priest's homily. Talked about how when people come up to get communion, they look all sad like it's the last time they're gonna get it. Then the priest said, then again, he doesn't expect us come up dancing and that hella made me think of James lmao. After church, James came over to wrap his present and he told me cool stories. Me, him, and Megan went to eat Pho Mai. "IS IT RAINING IN HERE?!" HAHAHAAA. Target, home, then Giving Tree!

Giving Tree was funnn, we had to sort hella plastic bags into "forbidden" (black or clear bags), reuseable, or ones to recycle because they have holes. "James can't be recycled because he's black" lmao. It was fun just squishing the bags into the boxes, and sometimes I had to go inside and get them out because they were so deep in, and we started singing Christmas and Worship songs! The asian guy in charge of us was chill, until we changed jobs and this lady with reindeer ears hella ruined our fun and said we were being too rowdy and it seemed like we didn't wanna be there. First of all, the asian dude said we were working hella fast (in a good way) and we could slow down and socialize while we worked if we wanted too. And we wanna have some fun while we work you know, but be so serious. Everyone felt like shit after she lectured us, haha. But, whatever, it's a hairflip ;] After, we left and went back to SJB. Just chilled, had to leave.

Gian & I went to the San Jose Airport to pick up my cousin's luggage that didn't come in when she came yesterday, since she's at Vegas now. That shizzle took hella long, omfgggggg. But being at an airport hella reminded me of Conference again. Even those my first airplane experience seriously wasn't great and was saved by a man named Henry Pascua, it was one to remember. We hella had a spontaneous adventure, relying on God to answer our prayers and get on thoes planes. Dang, hella excited for next year! Anyways, Praise God it came her luggage came through tho! Got Carl's Jr, now home. Break is so far so good right now. =)







Damn, hella got me blushing and smiling.

Pamilia!

Today, was legit. My heart feels so overwhelmed with love right now. Like seriously, after this whole year, this party is what we needed to relight this fire of bondage between the Pamilia. We don't even call ourselves that anymore, we just say "our group". However, we're not really the Pamilia anymore, but we've gone past that and grown in quality and quantity. It happens every year. We haven't really busted out of the inner cliques this year and hung out, but today was the day we sure did. Shout out to Kevin Miranda for hosting this party with the good food and everything, and to Amery for the awesome present! I really love it, the sweater is super cute and the scarf is also really really nice! =) I hope you liked your present Kristina!

I don't really feel like explaining what happened at the party, but we didn't laugh our asses off HELLA like we did last year, but it was still really fun. Pretending to get drunk, hella pictures, bondages. I really feel there's a lot in store for us in 2009, and I'm excited. I love the Pamilia so much, like damn, they helped shape me to be the person I am today. They're the faces I see everyday at school, and they always put a smile on my face. Love 'em to death. Can't wait to see us all graduate together.

Pamilia, '93 (and for some, '92) til infinity.

Addiction

You're just like a drug,
I want you, but I don't need you.
I know this isn't good for me,
In fact, I should get away from this little addiction
'cause it tears me up emotionally so bad.
Got me high off the ground, off the ground onto cloud nine
But if I know all you do is bring me this pain,
why do I still bother making an effort?
Knowing that nothing's happening for a reason,
Maybe it was planned we shouldn't be in each other's lives
What keeps me coming back?
It's these moments when you make me go no where I've gone before
This happiness unexplainable, unbreakable at the moment
But it's only temporary, which makes me want more.
As I wait for the high you give me,
the pain that you give me slowly makes my happiness melt away
Somebody, maybe you, I just want them to slap some sense into me,
I don't need you, but this addiction always has me coming back

You're just like a drug,
I want you, but I don't need you.
Such a bad addiction.

------------------------------------------

Winter Break is finally here, aksdjdhaskjdha!!! =)
Plans? Let me put em down.
December 20: Secret Santa Party
December 21: Giving Tree
December 22: nothing
December 23: nothing
December 24: Christmas Eve
December 25: Christmas!
December 26: nothing
December 27: Sisterhood @ Christmas in the Park
December 28: nothing
December 29: Work on project @ Ashley's
December 30: nothing
December 31: New Year's Eve
January 1: New Year's! Hello 2009.
January 2: Kristina's Birthday Dinner (?)
January 3: nothing
January 4: nothing

Plan something with me! Except one of those days before Christmas I need to finish presents. =X

Yesterday was chill. Did nothing in classes, texted like crazy, James came afterschool and did not blend in, hahaha. Went to Bue Bo Hue or whatever, hahah. "Spicy fruit pebbes!" Red Ribbon. Jollibee. Crossroads. Valley Fair. Home, took a nap, and accidently fell asleep for the rest of the night. Dad had to sleep in my room because of relatives, went to sleep downstairs on cold leather sofa. Now here I am. Secret Santa Party later, I still need to finish my gift =/

Sometimes, I just wonder if there was anything, at all, ever. I wish I can know, but we'll see in God's time. It kills me to wonder, but can't help it.

Through the darkness, God's love shines.

I'm so happy that I don't have to go to 0 period tomorrow! WOOOO, sleep in for like an hour more =) Plus, I don't have to be out in the cold. This morning, the turf was all iced up, it was kinda like there was a thin layer of snow on it. People were making snow angels on it and omg, the guys on my team drew a big 8===D on it. It was gross but it was funny when people were standing on it and didn't know it. =P

Had 2 tests today, BOTH WERE HARD. Algebra II and Chemistry, I don't think I did well. But in Algebra 2, no one finished so she's letting us finish tomorrow. Gotta study how to do the ones I didn't know how to do today. Potluck in Leadership today, yummyyy. Film Festival in English, our movie was okay, but I don't think we're gonna win hahah. Went home afterschool, then Target to pick up some stuff, then home. Worked on presents, then took a nap. Told Matt to wake me up at 8:15 so I could finish my presents but he went to sleep too so I woke up thanks to James at 9. Oversleeping = sucks. I was still tired so I went back to sleep like at 10:30 and Matt forced me to wake up at 11:30, thank God. If he didn't wake me up , I honestly would of just gave up and went to sleep for the rest of the night.

Gotta work on presents/homework now. Tomorrow's gonna be a chill day! Hopefully. BREAK'S ALMOST HERE, YESSSSSS. =)

I will live to love you.

These days are getting colder and colder! No matter how many jackets or layers I wear, my thighs will always be cold hahaha. The turf is getting super icy, I kinda want it to snow!

Decided to do a quick blog before I start studying for 2 tests I think I'm gonna do bad on, and start AND finish a chemistry packet.

-Slept in front of a computer today in computer lab
-1 more full day of school before break!!
-Unfortunately, 2 tests in Chem and Math =/
-Half day on Friday, yay!
-Took bus with a few others to Great Mall afterschool
-Played hella funny games on the bus, awkward silence, Kristina fails
-Free burritos at Chipotle! =)
-First one to finish, and almost the only one to actually finished
-Helped people shop for Secret Santa
-Sisterhood Dinner at Pasta Pomodoro
-Too full from burrito, got dessert, yuck.
-Mikha told me to eat a bunch of the pesto dip alone for $10, it tasted good. HAHAA.

Ugh, can't wait to hit the hay tonight.

It's rather chillaaay.

COLDCOLDCOLD. Rugball while it was sprinkling today, yuck. Everything's getting harder in my classes, in my opinion. Got tests on Thursday, ahhh. Can't wait to get finals over with!!

Buzz about Sadie Hawkins is starting, cause of the big sale. The Wednesday we get back from break, tickets are gonna be $5 with ASB, and $8 without ASB. Hellaaaa cheap! So that means people are gonna get dates during break. But I really don't know who to ask!!!! We'll see.

I want a nap, then I'll work on my chemistry packet. Edit later?

God is good, all the time.

Discovery Camp 2008

Just got back from Discovery Camp (for YFC) few hours ago, and man, another weekend to go down in the books. God never ceases to amaze me.

The adventure started off Friday afterschool. Gian and Jerremy picked me and Jennifer up, and we waited in the car for a few minutes for the "special guest" to come who ended up being Jeffrey Beltran. We headed to SF to meet up with James and Matt because we were riding with them to camp, and we kinda got lost but eventually got there. We are at Buffalo Burgers, which was pretty good, or maybe that's just what I thought because I was hella hungry. Got ice cream at Rite Aid after <3 then we went to Walgreens to buy our gift exchange present. James and Matt stunk up the aisle we were in with their burgers, and it was hella funny when James was talking to Jeffrey and Jeffrey hella yelled, "DO I KNOW YOU?!" I couldn't decide what to get because everything I picked, my sister didn't like but it became whatever. After, headed back to the car and got my stuff, and said bye to Gian, Jerremy, and Jeffrey. It felt kinda weird I was going to a camp without Gian because it was a first, but it's gotta end up like this one day.. and ahh Jerremy went to Canada! 1st period will probably be a tad bit more boring without him laughing out of no where at who knows what. And uhh, Jeffrey, camp would definitely have more jokes and laughs if he was there to crack them. From there, James, Matt, Jennifer, and I embarked our journey. Me and Jen were squished in the back with a bunch of luggage next to us, at our feet, and even on our laps, but it was all good. Took a good nap, we got lost. There was scary darkass road there with scary trees on the side which was the wrong way, then we stopped at a hill where James released a bunch of gas that smelled sooo bad. Finally, we got there! Everyone was there already, and we were all matching haha. Crewnecks, black basketball shorts, and black long socks. We made our affirmation bags, there was a short worship, then we went to sleep. NOT TO MENTION I FINALLY SAW MICHELLE BARROS! Damn, seriously, I hella miss her! I Haven't seen her since Conference, we gave each other like the biggest hug ever and we even fell lmao.

Next day was a long day, got put into discussion groups. My group was lead by Marielle and Jojo, and I was in it with Michelle Barros (like last year hahah), Alexis, April, Steve, and Cherry. Our chant was hecka dumb, we made up a team name of FEKPU which stood for Fire Eating Koalas Playing Ukeleles because that was all the names we thought of combined. Our chant had nothing to do with God o_0 lmao it's okay. 2 talks! The one was about labels and our inner beauty, second talk was about friends. I could hella relate to both, and I teared up to both tooo. Lunch, then talks about family and talents. The family one, I liked it. They split us into 2 groups and my group had to talk to our partners, while Jeff told the other group to just ignore us. That made me hella see how my parents feel like when they talk to me but I just ignore them =/ So yeahh, talents talk then we broke off into workshops. Went to the dance workshop, it was pretty fun! Then the talent show, it was funnn. Recorded all of it, so check on YouTube soon! :D Except for our act 2 of the dance workshop, almost all of us forgot our dances because we didn't go over it enough lmao. It was a big mess, but God still loves us! =) Fun though. Worship, we did the prayovers like at Camp Empowerment. I love it man, omfgfkjgklada. I prayed over Ayana, Michelle Barros, Patris, Jennifer, Melanie, James, Angelica Mata, and Matt and they also did for me. Love emmmmm! then Talk 5 about love. Awkward at moments, but the couple was SOOO cute. They never kisssed or did anything until they got married, and they were each other's first boyfriend and girlfriend and omgahhh their wedding videos was sooo cute omfg!!! =)=) Hecka jealous. The talk was hecka long, 3 hours, but it was SOOO Cute!! haha sorry. Then we all went to sleep, I was HECKA tired.

Next dayyy, we had a long discussion group about the whole camp and all the talks. Then we did a review of all the talks and they sang parodies of songs, it was cute. Reflected, then broke off into Sisterhood and Brotherhood. Sisterhood, we got paired up with people from other clusters and we exchanged info so we can keep in touch. I met Chyna from Northcoast and she has such a bubbly personality and she's sooo legit! I can tell I'm gonna be hella close friends with her, she's dope. We had a good talk, then we went back to the place where they gave the talks. Then, there were the brothers in a circle holding candles in the dark all dressed up nicely. awwww =) Just like last year. They surrounded the sisters and then a few brothers gave a talk about how important we are to them and how they're always gonna be here for us. Cute! then they all gave it to someone as a promise. Freakin James raced over to Patris lmao and then Patris spilled wax on my jeans BUT IT'S ALL GOOD even though it didn't come off yet. Matt gave me his candle, sooo nice. Sike, he's hella mean to me. Just kidding, we have our moments. =) Then yeahh, worship! James lead! He did a legit job, hecka got everyone into it. The worships were hella mad crazy during this camp, I never heard tongues like that before, hecka gave me chills. Camp concluded ;( Everyone said goodbye, then we were on our way.

Way back home was pretty fun. First we got gas and then waited for everyone else. Headed home, kinda quiet at first then we went to Starbucks cause James was hella tired. Then things started getting hyped up, esp. since me and Jen were eating Swedish Fish hahaha. We hecka started singing songs and dancing around, and the counting game was fun. What else could be more fun with 3 of my closest friends in the car together? Yeeeeee! Dropped Jen off at her house, then James dropped me off at home. Before that, we made challenges for each other for the week. Challenged all of them to say only positive things this whole week, esp. since SOMEONE was hella being a jerk to me this whole weekend hahah. "Hey Crisann!" What? "shut up!" He calls it tough love. -_- They challenged me to learn how to smile, but okay, I'll just challenge myself to smile at everyone and then the last one was to do random acts of kindness. GOT IT.

Got home, then my family and I went out to eat to celebrate Gian's graduation or being done with school. We went to Applebee's, and I ate pasta, it was alright, maybe 6.5/10 hahah. I love eating out with my family though, because at home, we never eat dinner together, you just eat whenever you're hungry. We hella laugh because my parents act so silly and idk, it's great. I love it, I wish we could do that more.

Praise God for this weekend, for He has truly opened the eyes of his children to not only His beauty, but the beauty lying within us and in each other. As he continues to keep these fires burning within us with his unfailing love, it grows so big that we just have to ignite it in others. I love watching NorCal grow more and more each year, and I can't wait to see what God has in store for us in 2009, because I know it's going to be a legit year. Praise God!!! He is the best out of the best, and He is truly the love of my life.

Everyday I pray my heart can win.

Oh my goodness, it was hecka cold this morning. If I thought any other days were cold, I was trippin! I checked the weather before I left the locker room on my phone, and it said it was 38 degrees. IT WAS FREEEZING. New teams tho, yay! I got picked by Albert, yay he's fast and pretty good. We played Larry's team, but agreed on calling it a tie and not even bothering to play because we were too cold to function. Hahah, iit was fun! I wish we could play them everyday, but can't ;(

Same old school, extra cold today, my toes were freezing. My mittens keep my hands warm ^_^ haha. Chemistry is driving me insane because we go over the same crap everyday but I have yet to understand. I'm like, going to fail the test on Monday. I swear, after I get everything down and that test done with, Winter Break here I come! Test in World History, first part was easy but then the last part was hard! Leadership, went around stapling papers into the bulletin boards. Hey Milpitas High kids, bring your ID to Chipotle next Wednesday and they'll give you a free burrito. Geez, they're giving out free burritos like crazy, hahah. I ended up running out of staples at the L building and heck no, I wasn't gonna walk back to the room in the J building to get more, so I got some from Mrs. Brizuela's class. I was loading the staples in and then my finger was right there, so when I was closing it, I accidently pushed it all the way and I STAPLED MY FINGER. That hurt, but not hella hella, and then I just looked at my finger and saw the staple there and I was like o_o then realized I just stapled myself and then it started hurting and I had to pull it out. It was gross, and now I have a little dot scar. Afterschool was StuCo meeting, lmao "beasked". HAHA sometimes meetings are fun but then again sidebaring is bad. Haha, Mariel and Michelle were taking pictures and they accidently made the camera flash and Ms. Harris got pissed. End.

Just woke up from a pretty good nap, woke up because James called me and told me a joke I already knew, fail! Hahaha, he told me about the plan on Friday and told me to write it down, but I was still in bed! =P

Frick, being so busy is so stressful. -________-

I need to work on the stupid Chemistry packet, and I need to pack!! Sooo lazy though, and I'm confused about how we're getting there on Friday. Apparently Gian doesn't wanna drive us up so we have to the Bart to James' place. Ughhhhhh, more money to spend but whatever. An adventure this shall be.

But... DISCO CAMP ON FRIDAY!!! YAY :D We can't even call it Science Camp no more because it's not at a Science Camp location unlike last year hahah

Now, I shall either...
1). Do my homework
2). Pack
3). Take another nap
4). Eat

-----------------------------

1). Just when things seem to be getting good, things tend to drift off (who knows why?!) and right when I feel like giving up, it bounces back. Ugh, it's a pattern..
2). Sometimes I feel like this whole time you've been using me to get to her, even tho she's not feelin you.
3). I don't like how bossy you get, and how you're giving hella attitude like you have a right to just because they assigned you a job o_0
4). You're so mean now, I miss the old you.
5). You're always fun to talk to :D
6). Our convos are always the same hahah.

Tell the World

Woke up feeling way more sleepy, yet so warm. Woke up SOMEBODY who needed to study for bio, but told me to wake him up in I think 2 minutes. I fell asleep and gave both of us 10 minutes I think, whoops. Got up, got ready, then also had to call James at 6. Yadiya, my hair was being a beezy today!

0 period, championships. New teams, !@(!@* FINALLY. I don't really like my team, well just a specific someone. They always tell me to stay on someone, and I try, and she keeps telling me to and it's like SHEESH, I'm already covering them. Then, I just see them standing on the field not doing anything. SO ANNOYING HOW THEY KEEP YELLING AT ME THO! It's just a game, omfg. -_- But we won, 2nd place! Yayyyyyy.

Quiz in math, it was okay. All we did in spanish was review the homework, and then in chemistry, more mole crap. I STILL DON'T GET ANYTHING WE'RE LEARNING THIS CHAPTER, can someone PLEASE tutor me?! =/ I'm serious. Finished packet for World History, needa study, then sold grams. Leadership, lmao Rio, I'm not even gonna say it. English, worked on film project. I just sit there though cause I'm so dead tired and I wasn't in any of the scenes they worked on.

Afterschool, stalled Ms. Ngo and Kevin brought in the cake for her birthday. YAYYYYYYYYYYY. Decided to skip out on caroling practice because I was soooo tired, my eyes were trippin out. Went home, took a nap, but then Matt called because he was picking up his forms. Thanks for interupting my nap, jk. Opened the door, gave it to him, AWKWARD, so I shut the door HAHAHA sorry!!! Long story. Went back to nap, now I gotta study for World History.

On the other hand, did you guys know that God is so freakin great?! Like I don't know, these past 2 days, I've been just walking around thinking about Him and singing some Hillsong and I hella just felt like telling the world, running around, not giving a care what people think, and showing the world that God is soooooo awesome :D He's that great, like ughhhhhhh, He gives me this high everyday it's just amazing. He never ceases to amaze me.

EDIT: How can I forget to mention that I'm going to Disco Camp now?! Thank you Gian, omfggggggg. I was hella happy when I got that text saying my mom decided to let me go, thanks to Gian. WOOHOOO!! Praise God!

"No."

Those words never hit me so hard. That simple 2 letter word is the response I got regarding Discovery Camp. I've never been really rejected of going anywhere that was YFC related, until now. The reasoning? Because my sister wasn't going. When I got that response, my heart cried out in anger, emotionally, not physically, meaning I didn't show it. C'mon now, I need some freakin independence from that. Do I have to follow Gian wherever she goes? Just because she goes somewhere, or doesn't go somewhere, doesn't mean I have to follow as well. One day she's not even gonna go to YFC anymore, does that mean I won't be able to go to YFC? After a few begging and trying to reason and bargain out with my mom, I still received a no. Honestly, it hit me pretty bad. This weekend I've been anticipating it. It's like God was calling me and I've been joyfully walking on this path to get to him, until a stone gate comes out of no where and blocks me out to him. I know I shouldn't react like this, sorry if it sounds like I'm being a baby, but I'm not used to being blocked from God. Well, not exactly blocked, but you get my point. I didn't wanna push things and make them worse, so I just let it be. Tears came to my eyes, but I refused to let them out. I'm going to praypraypray, and just let God provide and let whatever happen. I'm going to keep in my mind whatever happens, happens for a reason, but dang... I'm not used to this. We'll see what happens, but for now, no Disco Camp from me =/

And to add on, I heard progress reports are coming in the mail this week. I have a freakin' C still in Spainsh, there goes my chances of going even more, hella bad timing!!!!!

My cherry on top today? I lost my Pilot pen AND last good pencil. Greattttt, so now I have to ues crappy stuff again =/

To end this in a happier note, listen to "The Nature" by Talib Kweli and Justin Timberlake. I like the song, but didn't really take the time to listen to the lyrics until today, and there's actually some true and meaningful stuff in there.

"It's hard to keep faith in the things that you do when everybody turns their back on you."

EDIT: I'm so mfffreakkkkinnnn determined to change my mom's mind.

Observe and admire.

This weekend has been alright, I guess. Let's do a recap.

Saturday:
-Went shopping for Secret Santa, not done yet
-Got dropped off at Great Mall after
-FINALLY ate at the newly opened Jollibee with Mikha and Jennifer
-Spaghetti and Chickenjoy, + Ube Cooler <3
-Sat in Mikha's car just talking for like 30 minutes while thinking of what to do
-Crashed Brotherhood to watch the Pacquiao fight. Sorry if you guys didn't like what we did, but we HELLA wanted to watch and didn't know where else to go
-Went to Tapioca Express, talked about Disco Camp
-Received a phone call from mother, trouble!
-Went home, Mikha and Jen came along, watched Iron Man

Yesterday, I was just looking out the window as my sister drove, and the sky just looked amazing. And we were driving past hills, and I don't know, as I tend to look out windows to places where I'd probably never reach, it just amazes me. Like damn, this world is hella beautiful. Hahaha, thanks God. =)

Today, I woke up like at 12:30ish. Dad told me there was police on my block today because a guy was parked in front of the house in front of ours for hella long. o_0 kinda scary. Sigh, today feels like it's gonna be boring. Guess I'll be doing homeworkkk =(

I think I wanna give up again, with no reasoning whatsoever. But then again, I always say that but it never works out.

"It feels like we're in a polar bear's butthole!"

Haha, the title, that's what someone said during 0 period today. IT'S SO COLD DURING 0 PERIOD, my hands get so cold and the ball is so wet that my hands get hella numb!

-I received 4 hours of sleep last night
-Tried waking up Matt, but he didn't want to wake up -_-
-Woke up James, who sounded HELLA awake already when he wasn't even
-My team is last place out of the whole class for Rugball
-2 interceptions and scored 2 times today ftw
-The stupid binomial/trinomial long division is a pain in the bottom
-New seats in Spanish, went from all the way in the back to all the way in the front
-Switched seats with someone who wanted to sit in the front, got my old seat back :D
-Skipped chemistry to work on the Winter Grams
-I think I got maybe a B- on that World History test =/
-Fixed up the 2011 bulletin board in Leadership today
-Film project = no progress today
-Worked on Winter Grams afterschool
-Ate pizza
-My hair finally didn't get fcked up after 0 period today!

Oh yeah, I finally got my physical yesterday so I can start conditioning for track! My height = 5'3.5", weight = 109 pounds, and my vision is sweeeet! 20/20 for right eye, 20/25 left eye. I don't get how the left eye has more thingies than the right eye tho. I'm all good to go, woohoo. Oh yeah, they gave me a Nasal Flu Shot, I had to look up and they shot the vaccine up my nose and I had to sniff it up. Beats the shot though, wooo.

I need to work on humbling myself again =/ I miss those days, because now I'm getting hella irritated of people. I feel like some people are treating me different just because I cut off my top friends and they're not on it anymore, GAY. It's like people are nice to me only if they're on my top friends. MYSPACE SUCKS! =(

1). Sometimes I really wonder if you're getting irritated of me, cause sometimes it feels like it.
2). I really don't feel like I can trust you anymore... after what you said, that was kinda fcked up. As a friend, you're supposed to support me, but it's like you're supporting the other person and want me to stop. Stay out of this business, it isn't your deal...
3). lulz, I like hanging out with you, you always make me laugh. Thanks for always letting me go to your hizzzzzhouseee.
4). I just really want you to be careful and not rush into things, I know you might feel like he's the one, but seriously, I don't want you to get hurt. Slow it down a bit.
5). I'm starting to feel HELLA awkward around you.
6). I really, really, wanna talk to you about whatsup. We've never even opened up to each other about this topic, whether it's about other people, you, me, or what not, but I don't know. I know for the best if we don't talk about it, for now. But I still wonder what could happen if we did open up about it.
7). Honey, don't get so full of yourself now.
8). Always got some goodass laughs with you!!!!!! HAHAHAH 300 lady
9). I just realized we never open up to each other, all we do is make jokes... HAHA o_0
10). Thanks for everything.
11). I miss you, like we kinda talk now and then, but we don't talk as much as before! We all don't really hang out anymore either! Boooo. =(
12). You're kinda weird, hahaha sowwwwy
13). Whenever we make eye contact, I feel like you got a grudge against me because of how I used to feel, but dude, just let it go because it's all in the past. You got it already so why you trippin?
14). You only talk to me when you need something from me. =(
15). Haha, you're always there to make me laugh. I can feel this friendship is getting stronger and stronger, nice.
16). I'm really glad we don't have anymore beef, if I haven't told you that already.
17). I don't even know what happened. It kinda feels awkward now, our friendship isn't strong anymore.

I'm ready to take a fatass nap. Seeeeeee yaaaaaa.

December

It's December already! 2008 has surely gone by fast.

Right now, I'm hella tired because I only got 4 hours of sleep. James wanted to show me something funny on the webcam last night, which lead into a YFC Webcam Party consisting of me, James, Mikha, Patris, Matt, Jeffrey, and Jerremy. Rusesll was there for a little but he didn't even have a webcam haha. It was pretty funny and fun. We went from like probably 7pm to 1am. I was doing my Spanish project at the same time, luckily I finished.

Hopefully I'll make it through today... but ugh, 0 period is soooo damn cold.

-------------

EDIT:

So it wasn't THAT cold today. I presented in Spanish today, ugh. I didn't know she was grading us on pronounciation because she said she wasn't so I hella winged it. I have a feeling I got a bad score, but everyone liked my colorful poster. Stayed up until 1am finishing that crap, and did it before school today too. -___- I slept and knocked out during World History when Ms. Bielski was lecturing us about India, then during SSR because we had a sub, and then in 6th period in front of a computer at the Computer Lab. I was heeeeeella tired, you don't even know. I just took like a 2 hour nap, but it's not even enough, I'm still sleepy. Thankfully I have no homework to do that's due tomorrow, but I should work on my packet. I think I'll go take another nap... Finally getting my physical tomorrow, so I can start conditioning for track. Yay? =P

It's driving me nuts. If I speak up, will it change anything? People say there's nothing to lose, but actually, it's a friendship on the line. Nope, not now... idk, my mind changes a lot. I doubt they don't know ANYTHING at all tho, they probably already know.

End of Thanksgiving break.

Kinda had a long day today, woke up at 9am and then James picked me, Gian, and Mikha up then we headed to Matt's house. His dog came out and looked like he was about to viciously attack me, Mikha, and Gian but then it ran up to us halfway then went back inside lmao. We went running around Cataldi Park. I got sidetracked on the first lap trying to make a new On the Go List for my iPhone, so yeah, hahah. 2nd lap I was alright. Freakin James cut through a huge part of the lap when me and Matt were up front, and then we raced each other to James. I almost beat him! Rawr. Walked back to his house, then we left for Lucky's. We bought ice cream and drinks, then we went to my house to eat some lasagna. We parted ways, got ready, then did homework. Gian left me! But it's okay, they came back to get me. Went to Guitar Center, but me James and Mikha got bored so we went outside then walked to Taco Bell. The crosswalks were too far so we just jaywalked. "GO BIG OR GO HOME!" Hahahah, kinda scary. Barnes and Noble, then Black and Brown. Pretty legit store. Too bad I'm broke =( Went to Matt's house again, and we worked on "stuff". 7pm mass, then Tito Edwin's house. WE WERE SOOOOOOOOOOO HUNGRY DURING MASS, my stomach was grumbling hella loud and Mikha was laughing. Now I just got home.

Homework is a killjoy. Why do teachers have to assign so much freakin' homework during Thanksgiving break? =( Gives us less time to be thankful for our family and friends, but this Thanksgiving weekend has been fun. I saw my best buddies from YFC almost everyday and had some good ass laughs and chill times. I feel like some friendships have grown, but my joy is being cut off with a damn chemistry packet and spanish project to do.


Soooo, it's either I give up completely or keep going.. Last time, I said I was going to give up, but I ended up going on still, but it kinda led to something that was good for a bit. So, I guess I'm not gonna give up quite yet. We'll see..

I wonder...

Sometimes, I wonder what it's like to be the girl all the guys seem to be chasing after. How does it feel to be the girl who can get any guy she wants? Me, I feel like the opposite. I'm always losing this battle, every single time. Sometimes I feel so hopeless, I just wanna give up.

I read this quote quite a while ago, it's stuck in my mind ever since.

"We are all like apples on an apple tree. The "rotten ones" are on the bottom, therefore they are the easiest to pick, so therefore they are the "easy ones". However, the best ones are on the top, and hard to reach, in which we get the "hard to get". But we all know the hard to get ones are the best to strive for because they have better quality."

Yeah yeah yeah...
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay, but nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe... it hurts but it may be the only way.



So, moving away from those sour notes, I'll talk about my day. I worked on my Spanish project but got sidetracked when my parents came home with a new laptop which is mine I think. Yay! =) It was only 400 bucks, nice. So now, I have a brown laptop. Hahaha. I haven't had my own computer in a long time because the one in my room has been broken and my dad doesn't wanna fix it. -_- Later on, went to James' party. Goooood food! Then we played Catchphrase, always funny! Then just chillled, we played tag! Hella tiring! Chubby bunny, I fail. My mouth is small I guess, lol. Yeah, now here I am. I kinda wanna take a nap, but I have hella homework to do. Got a whole chemistry packet and the other half of my Spanish project to do. =/ Update later?

Christmas Wishlist

Here's some eye candy for the holiday season. If you're here cause you're my Secret Santa, here's some stuff that'd be nice as a gift, or you can just use it as an idea of stuff I like. ;)

Unisex Flex Fleece Zip Hoody -- American Apparel
(Dark Heather Grey, Asphalt, or Black/Small)


Kristin DB Jacket -- Forever 21
(Black/Small)


H81 Hooded DB Peacoat -- Forever 21 or Heritage 1981
(Dark Grey/Small)


H81 Fleeced Lined Hooded Cargo Jacket -- Forever 21 or Heritage 1981
(Khaki/Small)


Fab Corduroy Skinny Pant -- Forever 21
(Black/Olive)
Size 24 or 25



Safari Cargo Shirt -- Forever 21
Small



H81 Sushi Lover Tee -- Forever 21 or Heritage 1981
Small



Zoo York Blocked Out Hoodie - Delia's
Small


The Firebird Track Jacket in Black with Purple
Small


Blowfish Hobbit Sneaker -- Delia's
7 or 7.5


Authentic Lo Pro -- Vans
vvv That color, but it's called Navy? o_0 7 or 7.5


Authentics -- Vans
Chocolate Truffle Suede, it'd be cool if it wasn't suede but 7 or 7.5

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today, I am thankful for a lot of things. I am thankful for God, because he keeps me strong and has me happier than ever, and for He has blessed me for the greatest thing of all.... LIFE. Without life, I would not be sitting here in front of this computer, very cold, typing this blog out. I'm thankful for my family, always providing me with support and love even if I don't act like the greatest sister/daughter. My parents, who I push away a lot when all they want to do is push me for what's the best. My sisters, who can always make me laugh and are my 2nd mothers. My friends, who never cease to make me smile, and who I share hella memories with, and have shaped me to be the person I am today. My CFC-Y family, they have made my faith grow freakin' crazy, and my relationship with God would not be so great if it wasn't for them. I'm thankful for the clothes I have on my back, which is why I'm not going Black Friday shopping for the 2nd or 3rd year in a row.... ;) Sike. Not going because no tengo dinero and my sisters are both working, and my mom can't stand it. Hahah.

Morning started off with discovering I fell asleep while texting and on AIM on phone. It's cool having IMs to wake up to I guess. People IMed me last night but I never answered cause I fell asleep, whoops. Troy rickrolled me, probably 7th time I fell for it. AND LOL, I watched the Thanksgiving parade and then there was a Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends or whatever float with a "surprise guest". Guess who the freakin' guest was? RICK LOL Ohhhhhh shtttttt. The man of my nightmares, lmao. Sent out 100+ texts today, and I got hellaaaaaaaaa texts saying Happy Thanksgiving, etc. It was nonstop, but I liked it. Hella love flowin around or what? :)

Today was fun, cousin's house! Relatives from LA came down too. GOOODFOOOOD. DELICIOUS turkey, filipino spaghetti, shrimp, bunch of filipino food, apple pie, ice cream, etc. All the cousins finally together! We took pictures for our parents' Christmas present, then played the category game with cards. HELLA FUNNY STUFFF. Then Catch Phrase, always fun! We watched Stay Alive, 3rd time I watched it but it refreshed me on what happened. I think it's one of the best scary movies I've watched, but now I'm getting iffy about it hahah. Got tired after that, then just chilled. Now home I am.

Have fun everyone tomorrow =( Good luck with the mobs, I've experienced some stupid ass stuff on Black Friday hahahaha. I guess tomorrow I'll work on my Chemistry Packet and Spanish project -_________- Anyone down to chill tho?! I don't wanna waste a Friday =/

--

Day 3 = still can't get it off my mind.. still weighing me down a bit too. Getting there...

Day 2

Well, today was alright. I'm doing my best not to think about it, at all, but it's just so hard. I'll be getting there.. I refuse to let this weaken me but strengthen me. I just ask for God's strength. Everyday, something adds onto this pain. It's a game I'll always lose.....

Highlights of the day

-Math test, probably got a C on that
-It rained pretty hard today
-Ended up going to Michelle Nguyen's house (thanks) and then to Great Mall with Michelle N., Kristina, Matt, Angelica, Nico, Tristan, Adrian, Karl, and Ashley
-Me and Michelle waited for people to come out of the movie theater and begged for Twilight movie tickets to get a free burrito from Chipotle
-Ended up only getting one ticket, split a burrito
-We just sat at the food court for hella long, drawing pictures, kinda boring
-Finally got to chill with the cousins Alyssa and Nolan
-Alyssa drove me for the first time, we're growing up so fast ;(
-Went to Blockbuster, and saw hella heads. Neal, Randy, Mark Caronogan, Deren, Miles
-Sweetened Iced Tea with a Strawberry pump from Starbucks is pretty good (Thanks Nols)


Thanksgiving tomorrow! =) Yay for food and family time!

Set me free, leave me be.... I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity....

Day 1.

The start of a change, time to attempt to throw it all out and see how this goes. I know that this will just make me stronger instead of weighing me down, I guess..

Day started kinda out bad. In 0 period, Mr. Zamudio said he was going to keep my card with my grades on it in his binder since he was teaching basketball and I wanted to be in basketball since I wasn't going to be there when they picked new units because of a field trip. Sooo, I went to the gym this morning. Lotsa people I knew were gonna be in basketball, and I haven't gotten to take a unit with them. Unfortunately, Mr. Zamudio never called my roll and realized he forgot to keep my card so I have to take Rugball AGAIN with Ms. Osbourne. I love rugball, but I don't want it this time of the year!! Why? 1). It's going to be freakin cold 2). We play rain or shine, thunder or lightning, basically no matter what 3). The turf is always wet in the morning, meaning the ball gets soaking wet and gross and slippery. I really wanted to do basketball!

Idk, today just generally wasn't a great day for me. Just a lot happening. I think rainy weather makes me moody, but hey, Chipotle with Rio and Michelle Nguyen was fun but I didn't enjoy my free burrito.

Tomorrow will be a better day, hopefully..

Sigh

It's a game I'll always lose.


Maybe one day,

Weekend

Good weekend so far, started last night. My mom went to a party, my dad went to work, and my sisters went out forcing me to go out for once ;) I was supposed to go to Robert Du's party with Michelle D and Catap, but they didn't have a ride so didn't wanna go. We went to watch Twilight instead. I got dropped off at Michelle's house, then Catap came, and we were forced to eat soup hahah. We got dropped off to the mall, and then later on we met up with everyone else. It was me, Michelle D, Catap, Rowena, Michelle Nguyen, Kristina, Raymond, Joann, Matt, Russell, Tristan, and Nico. Twilight was pretty good, kinda cute, but I got confused a tad bit. AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO DOESN'T THINK EDWARD CULLEN IS SUPERRRRRR CYOOOTE? Geez, hahah. After the movie, chilled outside then had to go to Michelle's house because no one was available to drop me off/pick me up. I was there until like 12am, then Jeffrey B. calls me to tell me him and James were gonna pick me up instead of my sister.

Sooo, James & Jeffrey pick me up and we go to Miles' house, parked there, and just chilled inside there. We just talked, had some good laughs hahahahaha. We were there for probably a good 30 minutes, then we went to Safeway to buy some vanilla ice cream for my cookie dough cause James wanted to make a pazookie or whatever. It was probably 1amish. Went back to my house where Gian and Jerms was already, then we made a pazookie. Damn, hella good stuff. We wanted more, but we made another one and we didn't eat it all because we were so full. Chilled for a bit, then they left at 3. I decided to leave the pazookie on the counter because I was too sleepy to clean it up and bad idea, I got in trouble for that this morning, lol.

Woke up today at 9, and my sister and I jogged to Cataldi park from our house to meet up with James. MY SISTER RUNS TOO FAST TO ME, I was getting tired because I haven't ran much in awhile. Got there, waited for James, then we attempted to run around the whole freakin park twice but lmao me and James probably only ran half of the park then gave up and all 3 of us walked the park for the last lap. Pretty good run though, then me and Gian ran back home. I got ready for church, then James picked me up. Ended up having to stand the whole time in the back, but it's all good. James dropped me back home, and now here I am.

Still have an essay to write, ughhhhhhhhh.

I swear I'll never let you downnn..

Inspired

Yesterday was great. It's been a week since camp! Time went by fast, but waiting for the Post-Camp Meeting was slow just because I was hella excited.

Before YFC, went to eat at a buffet with Rio, Daniel, and Celeste. Dude, I love hanging out with the Juniors. I have NO worries whatsoever with them, and it's always a guarantee that I'll laugh my ass off with them. We went to a buffet called Chinese Buffet (haha) that Rio SAID was 8 bucks, but it was 13 bucks. We hella just walked out when they told us it was 13, but decided to go back in because it smelled good. The food there was alright, but damn, all our tummies got big and bloated. What made the day with them was when Rio and Celeste tried to steal some steamed buns there, but dropped it on the way out and a waiter saw, and they just walked out. We hella panicked and rushed to get in the car because all the waiters started crowding around it and was looking outside, and we hella saw. OMG, hahahaha. Fail, fail, fail!

We didn't wanna go to YFC so early, but I hella had to pee. Rio took us to Taco Bell so I can empty out my bladder, woohoo!

Got to the hall, some people were there already. Tight hugs, excitement, I love the energy. I can see the high was still in all of us, and it makes me happy that everyone is allowing him to let his love overflow in all of us.

Meeting starting, candidates shared. It was pretty awesome seeing these candidates who barely spoke up at the start of camp, have the guts to get up there in front of everyone to let everyone know how camp has changed them. How embarrassing when they had to admit camp crushes too, haha.

After was the traditional drawings of the highlights of camp, always funny. I and Rozelle took some pictures of it, I'll upload later. "The swing was made out of James' skin" hella messed up but hahahaha. Good stuff.

Then, the almighty worship! I don't recall the last time we had a dope worship like that, at a meeting. Pssh, we don't need lyrics to pour out our love for God! I was losing myself for God, I was growing weak in the knees again. I was in loooooove.

But damn dude, I was hella smiling watching Chels, Catap, and Matt get up to that mic and hella praising God during Worship. Watching them grow in their faith a bit throughout meetings, then so strongly within just one weekend, and I don't know, it's so crazy, PRAISE GOD! If I had to compare it to something, it's kinda like a mom watching her kids grow up. But I'm not saying I'm their mom, but yeahhhhhh =)

This dry season is freakin' over, I declare it. Our cluster has really grown stronger, and the victory is ours. Now it's time to put to the test if everyone will stick, which I'm really praying they do. I have hella faith and hope in this new batch of graduates.

God is good, all the time.

Tonight: "DuDu's Danceoff" and Twilight. Hopefully tonight will be funnn


PS: GO TO WINTER BALL! I'm trying to get support for the Juniors, so yeah, GO!

All smiles.

Life is bien, muy bien! Finding myself with a higher spirit, happier mood (other than the fact sometimes I'm tired from rugball), and smiling more. I feel more jumpy too.

Hooray for God! =)

Me gusta!

1. Dang, hella memories with you. Thank you for being like an older sibling to me, I really appreciate it, along with the laughs we have. You inspire me so much! I owe you a bunch.
2. I like where this is going..
3. OMGGG -________-
4. Hope your diarrhea goes away...
5. The thing is, we try to help you, but you push us away. What else can we do?
6. Hey, I miss you. A whole bunch.
7. Chicks before dicks, por favor.

hmm, I'll have more later.

Still in awe.

I miss camp pretty badly, but I can't keep dwelling in the past. Time to keep moving along, but might as well spread this high I'm living off right? Spreading it like nutella on waffles, as Big Bro would say.

I decided to better myself, also. I made some post-camp goals for myself.

1). Cut down on the cussing, MAJORLY.
2). Respect parents more, and tell them I love them everyda.
3). No more being mean.
4). Avoid letting my temper get the best of me (stop getting mad).
5). Keep cutting back on the gossip.
6). BE HUMBLE!
7). Smile every chance I get.
8). Let everyone know I love them =)
9). PRAY MORE!! Worship on spare time.
10). Keep in touch with everyone from camp, and gain friendships with everyone I don't talk to.
11). Spread God's love like crazy to those who didn't go.

Life's good, God's good. =)

I swear, the batch of candidates that just graduated has REALLY inspired me, to the point I tear up because it's just amazing what God's work has done.

Amen.

Welcome to the family.

Just got home from camp about 3 hours ago, it was LEGIT. You guys don't know how excited I've been for this camp since they announced it, because seriously, this is what our cluster needs. Everyone's been saying we're having a "dry season", and I believe that the Holy Spirit flooded over this drought and truly revived us.

Serving God... sometimes I feel like it's what I feel like I'm meant to do in life. Like they said at camp, using what God has given me to give back to him that will not only help him, but the others around me. I stepped up to from being an ADGL at the last camp to a DGL with Mikha this camp, and I was really motivated to do it. I really wanted to show my candidates whatsup about God, how great and how much He loves us, and how he works in some crazy ways to give us a great life.

I liked all the talks, honestly. I stayed interested the whole times.

But WORSHIP man. I love their new technique of teaching songs, it really did get people into it instead of having awkward turtle ones. But before I talk about Saturday night worship, I really wanna talk about the Service Team Empowerment. During free time, the service team gathered in the leader's lounge and prepared ourselves for prayovers. We worshipped our hearts out, and then before we ended off, they asked us to pray over each other. We already in awe with God, and then as we prayed over each other, it was soo crazy. I was crying hella bad, but they weren't even tears of sorrow, it was all tears of joy, I was so overwhelemed, I felt so loved and blessed, it was crazy. All of us we're crying, we felt God's crazy love in all of us. Idk, but that was the 2nd best worship I had (Hillsong concert ftw) but that was the most spiritual one tho.

Saturday night worship was also great. I was in so awe, seeing all the candidates raise their hands up, seeing them surrender their all to Him. Seriously though, I just HELLA want people to see how great God is, that's why I'm always trying to get people to go to YFC and all that. God does crazy things, I'm telling you that, he hella changes your life and changes your perspective on so much... I wish Saturday Night Worship was more longer tho. I liked all the songs, and I also kinda wished we sang Hillsong songs too, but it's all good!

I wasn't that tired as I expected at this camp, which is good, meaning I won't accidently fall asleep during talks haha. Spent a good time writing affirmations, and today was pretty fun. But during the part when the candidates got the letters, I hella teared up because it reminded me of my first camp, and it hella started to make me think too. Not to mention, I can hella feel their emotions in me. Anyways.. The gauntlet ;] Teabags, good stuff. I really feel like I've gotten closer to people during this camp, and I'm glad that our CFC-Y Southcoast family has finally extended out.

I love all of you guys so much... I'm so proud, I really am. You guys have found God and your faith has grown, and I just hope this camp sticks with you. People tend to come and go, but I just really pray everyone's faith continues to grow and never drop down. =) I got you guys!


PS: 5 camp crushes! haha

what they don't know

Yes, I'll admit, I'm spoiled. The clothes on my back to the shoes I wear, to all the junk in my room, to my iPhone and all the electronics I have, and to the privledges I get that others don't.

But really, what they don't know is what I'm feeling inside. They have their own stress, but their stress put together also burdens me. I have stress of my own to deal with. And silly me, I'm not appreciative of what I have. These words are thrown at me, cutting my sense of being and I lose control of who I am. My self esteem is put down but I hide it. I have a thousand things killing me softly on the inside, but I hide it and tell myself to smile. Nobody knows, nobody knows. Those words are what haunt me the most though. They may only come out of their mouths because of anger, but it haunts me for so long. It pushes me away, so badly, to the point where I just want OUT. I look for the happiness that money can't buy, with priceless moments with friends, who I really can call family.

But too bad it never lasts too long. Once I return to the place I can't stand being, it fades off.

Just keep smiling.......

11/11

Happy 11/11, or November 11th! I guess it's a day to make a wish, and I know what I wished for. =) Hahhh, in 3 years it should be our Senior Ditch Day (11/11/11), but too bad we'll be graduated by then.

Went to sleep last night at 2am. I was praying the rosary at like 12am, and after headed to sleep. I couldn't sleep, and so I just stayed up staring at my ceiling thinking about hella stuff. Alarm went off 3 hours later after falling asleep, but I was way too sleepy to get up. Decided to stay home, pointless to go to school anyways, there's no school tomorrow. So, 4 day weekend for me! I was kinda bored at home tho, so I just slept all day. Coincidentally, Michelle Deleon stayed home too so I spent a period of time talking to her on AIM haha.

Plans for my Veteran's Day tomorrow... do World History homework, go to Confession @ Our Lady with Mikha/Rio, Mass?

And today will just make me wish more and more...

2 Parties, 1 Weekend

Today was Maureen's surprise birthday party. It was cool, when we surprised her, Martin pulled the confetti popper at my head so I got a bunch of crap on me -_- Catchphrase is ALWAYS funny and will make you laugh your ass off when people give the stupidest hints/guesses. Kinda awkward turtle most of the time, since the party was mostly college freshmen.

Arghh, school tomorrow. I totally wouldn't go since there's no school on Tuesday, but I just realized I have World History hw to do that's due on Wednesday, and I didn't bring my book home, so I have to go to school. I seriously was gonna stay home though, DARN IT. Shoulda brought it home.

CAMP IN 5 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOOOOO EXCITED. So excited, that I texted James during the party saying "Can I get our stuff out of your camp?" when I meant car. Hahaha. GO!!!!!! YOU WILL REGRET IT IF YOU DON'T! It's not too lateeeeeeeeeee!

1. I don't need an echo, you need to shut up because the next time you talk to me like that I'm ready to tell you off. =X
2. Idk, sorry, but I feel like you're just saying what you're saying for attention.
3. You're too good to be true.
4. Where did I go wrong? I feel some awkwardness now.
5. LMAO, YOUR BUDDYPOKE.
6. I looooove hanging out with you, it's always hella funny and fun!
7. You jealous?
8. You don't know how disappointed I am in you...

So many assumptions. I honestly don't mind at all, but it just sucks I have to say no, when my heart really wants to say yes. I don't wanna let it go..

For now, how I'm feeling will stay, but it'll be confusing down the road.

ouch

Celeste's party was technically what is yesterday now.. Mikha and Daniel picked me up around 5ish, then we headed to Celeste's. Lmao, it's possible to NOT laugh when I'm with them, especially when Mikha uses her fobby voice. "BABEHHBOYY!" and "Umm hello, I'm here for the pangans, the happy peets!"

Celeste had an astro jump slide, but it started raining! I didn't wanna get my clothes wet, so I just took pictures. After, everyone just chilled inside. Daniel, Rio, Chelsea, and I were making rhymes for awhile. "Rio... don't speak. You have a big beak!" and in response they said, "Crisann... don't talk. You smell like chalk!". Well, I guess it's a thing where you had to be there for it to be funny.

After, chilled with Chelsea. We had a talk about life, school, boys, etc. I haven't talked/seen her in awhile! I miss this girl! But I'm glad I got to catch up with her. We had some GOOD ass laughs watching Mikha play the slapping game and watching Daniel eat, lmao.

I decided to join in this slapping game everyone was playing with the cards. Thank God I didn't play when hella people were playing. I played with Edijay, Eddiben, Rio, and Ryneheart. EDIJAY GIVES ME NO DAMN MERCY. His slaps were bitches! My hand is like hurting, just from typing right now, and it's bruised up. You can see a clear difference when I put my hands together, it's so bad now. It hurts sooooooooooooooooooo bad! At least I only played one game tho, everyone else who played like 3 games have swollen puffy ass looking hands. This game is insane, but pretty funnnnnn.

Rio gave me the love fortune she was too busy to give me during Leadership 'cause everyone else would be telling her to do it for them too. Turns out he has my heart and his friend is helping him decide who to like OR that his friend likes me. I don't know if it's true or not o_0 but yeah, for hella people in leadership their fortunes were true (that pertained to them having boyfriends and what not), so IDK!

I'm tired, another party tomorrow. Lates.

Just one more week!

Haven't blogged for a while, was out without a computer with internet for a few days and had to use iPhone, which usually crashes in the middle of me blogging. =P

CAMPPPPPPPP! One more week, I'm HELLA excited now. Just got home from YFC + In N Out. YFC wasn't really a YFC meeting, but it was more of a sharing meeting + social. Since we played games. I wanted to Worship, but we didn't. =/ It's okay though, it was fun today though! It got me hyped up for camp, and pretty sure everyone else.

And omg, so I gave Matt our Homecoming pictures today and I put our big picture in a frame since I owe him like 20 bucks, cause he paid for the pictures + food for me at Denny's. People put it on top of the piano like it was a house, and put it everywhere so like during the meeting, when people were up there talking, you'd see it! I didn't want people to see it cause my face is bleghhhhh and I don't like it. It was kinda funny, but yeah, I just didn't want people to see my ugly face. -_-

Before that was Sen Dai with Michelle Nguyen, Catap, Russell, Matt, and the "unexpected" and "surprise" guest Karl. Hahaha, it was pretty funny. Some laughs here and there.

Today was like the first day I woke up tired. Probably because I woke up to do homework at 4am because I was too tired to do it the night before, from the Volleyball game.

SPEAKING OF THE VOLLEYBALL GAME, that sheeezy was hella fun. Doing the wave, cheering, and all that. Box out, #7, Disturbia, etc. Pretty funny when Wilcox started smacking the balls for warm ups and a little kid ran into the court and we were like =O and we boo'd them and pointed at them, then their coach got hella pissed at us. Act like this is your school! Home sporting games are always fun anyways, because you have people always making funny comments about what's going on. =P

I need to get a physical for track, asap. My mom scheduled one, but for December 3rd. SOOOOO FAR WAY! I need it nowwwwwwww.

Excitement & Disappointment

Camp is coming up! Almost one more week! I'm getting hella hyped up for it, and I'm also trying to get everyone else hyped up. Why am I excited anyways? Camp is my place to be with God, and it's where I can seriously feel the connection between us. You can just hella feel the love there. And to know that many people are going to come, and feel God's love and really see his greatness.. is awesome. Bringing more people to him, and seeing that He IS that man... wooo! Not to mention worship, worship is hella legit at camp. I'm excited.

Internet at home isn't working. Well, it's only working on this computer because I hooked it up directly to the modem because I need to work on my project on Otto von Bismarck. -_- I don't think I'm gonna get a good grade on it... But, I went to a friend's house to work on it there and let's just say I saw something I did not want to see and I can't really verify for sure what I did, but it REALLY disappointed me.

Hah, and to think you tried to lie and cover it up. Whatever, you just don't know I saw it, that's why. I hate having to find/see this kind of stuff from my friends, because from that moment on when I see them, I see them differently. Bad, I know...

In other words, Obama won! Woohoooo! My eyes got to see history made. I was just watching TV and arguing with my parents about prop 8, then the TV says President elect Obama. And I was like, WTF already? Because the last time I looked, his electoral votes were 207 when you need 270 to win. Hopefully he will be the change he says he will, because he really needs to turn this country around after Bush fcked it up, haha. Next election, I'll be 19, so it's time for me to pay attention to politics. Each election has got me more and more concerned, because as it nears my turn to vote, it'll affect me more in the long run. Obama ftw!

Brown Eyed Blues

Today I woke up.... ENERGIZED! for once. Haha, but then I kinda left my house later than I was supposed to because I had to put all my stuff together that I needed to bring to school for my Leadership presentation hella last minute because I forgot.

Today, I wasn't sleepy/bored in any class. In Spanish, we ate this el dia de muertos bread and it was ehhh. Chocolate milk was ehhh too, I like regular milk better hehe. The rest of the period was free time, but I seriously don't know anyone in there or have any friends so I just texted people. I was pretty bored, so I mass texted "hi" hahaha. I kinda have a C+ in Spanish though, fck =X hopefully the calendar and canicas bring it up.. ugh! I'm hella trying in that class, I hella study, but the tests always end up hard still.

Omg, so in 4th period, I couldn't do my work because I didn't have my book and Ms. Bielski kept getting on my case! We were doing the guided readings, and like, we answer by going down our rows and we have to read the question outloud then the answer. I dropped my pen, and I was halfway bent down to pick it up then the room got all silent because it was my turn. So I was like, oh shit! So I like stopped midway down and idk, I looked retarded so me, Ashley N., and Andrea started laughing. And they kept on laughing, and IDK, it hella made me laugh too! I couldn't even read the question because I was laughing, so I was struggling! I was like, What ahahahahhahah ahehehaeh two hahahahahh *breathing* hahaha classes... I couldn't read the question because I couldn't stop laughing! And I was the only one laughing in the class, plus Ashley chuckling in her corner. Everyone was hella looking at me, I guess I sounded like a retard. Hahaha, Ms. Bielski couldn't take it anymore so she moved on to the next person and he didn't know so she asked who knew the answer. I thought I was done laughing and I felt bad so I told her I was done laughing and I'd say it. Then I tried it again, and Ashley started laughing again and it made me laugh so I hella couldn't say it again! And I ended up stopping and giving the wrong answer, lmao.

Lunch, I finally bought asian salad. I have money again wooo. I hella need to stop wasting it on food though. -_- I was in line for lunch with Daniel then they announced Homecoming pictures came in. I got hella excited and rushed him! There was a line tho, but eventually got them. Pulled the picture out, disappointed. My smile looks forced -_- Fck! And people said we look "distant" and Matt's hand looks weird on my waist. Looks like he just stuck his arm out, like a penguin. lmao, whatever. And everyone was being OMG about my boobs in the picture, there's like cleavage or whatever. It's just because of my dress -_____- I Guesssssss! I like the group picture though!

Leadership, I presented! I was hella scared, hella awkward moments. And people kept laughing at me because I messed up. "This cheesecake is easier to make because you don't need to go out and buy the sour dough and stuff." I meant to say sour cream, lmao. Nicole's spaghetti was goood. Rio's presentation was swelll for a winged one.

Afterschoool, it was sprinkling. I promised myself I'd go running and do sprint drills to prepare myself for track conditioning. I didn't mind running in the rain today though. Took my usual route. I don't like running through the bowling alley, it's kinda scary. This guy looked like he was gonna chase me but he as realy just running to the bank because I guess he was running away from the rain. Then this scary cadillac drove through.. did you know I'm kinda scared of those ghetto cadillacs? Lol. Yeah, so I think I'm gonna change my route. Quite frankly, I loved the wind and the rain beating against my face. Better than running in the burning hot, and it's pretty exciting.




Ugh, I'm tired of dealing with you. Everyday is more complaining, more anger. I know I'm supposed to respect you, but honestly now, you're being hella selfish. You've got to earn your respect now, sorry. I lost my respect for you. The way you're treating us... just shut up already. It's something is fckin easy like you say it is, why can't YOU do it? Sht.

Productive Weekend.

Rawr. Last night I decided to lay on my bed and listen to music on my phone at around 9pm and wait until my sister and her boyfriend left so I can go downstairs to eat and do homework. I ended up falling asleep for the rest of the night. This morning, I woke up at what I thought was 8:45amish but it was really 7:45am. I was totally unaware it was daylight savings until I went on MySpace and saw a bulletin. -_- I felt energized. I got like 11 hours of sleep!

So I went jogging, regardless of it being hella wet outside. I hella need to start getting in shape for track, so I decided to run out of my street, go past Burger King towards Savory's, then around the corner past Taco Bell then through the bowling alley and back to my house. I wanted to do 2 of those, but I was hella tired from doing one and my calf started hella burning up when I was next to Taco Bell. Then I went to my park and started doing lunges and stuff but then people came so I left.'

When I got home, I worked on my Spanish homework. Worked hella hard on it, I'm pretty proud.. HAHAHA http://i38.tinypic.com/2mozhw4.jpg

Spent next few hours eating and being hella bored. Later on, sister decides to call it and tells my mom and I to get ready to go to Gilroy Outlets. Nice weather out there. Went to Puma first. I wanted to get these grey Puma Suedes but they didn't have my size. I got Forest Green Suedes instead tho, they didn't have 6, so I just got the smallest size I could get. 6 1/2. (these are Mens sizes) The like top is kinda faded but I don't care, I liked it. Also, got a niceee windbreaker from Nike, US Olympics it says on it. I kinda splurged today =X That just means I'm not gonna buy clothes for hella long, probably not until Black Friday if I do go shopping.

Another week ahead of me.. ughhhhhh I'm doing my presentation for Leadership tomorrow! I'm nervous! I'm teaching the class how to make cheesecake which doesn't even taste that great in my opinion =X I don't even know how I'm gonna bring the melted butter to school without turning into solid by 5th period, OORRR the milk that won't get spoiled. GAYGAYGAY. -_- Can't wait to get it over with.

Let the rain fall.

It's raining again! I don't even remember the last time it rained... hella long ago? Actually, the last time I remembered was Trojan Olympics I think.

Yesterday was Halloween. I was a fairy! =) Hella didn't wanna go to 0 period tho. We had to play rugball when it was hella sprinkling! My shirt and hair got all wet, and my hair was curled and I guess it just turned ugly and wavy. Kristina did my make up! Thank you! It felt hella weird having so much makeup on, cause yeah I usually don't wear any except mascara.

Afterschool, went home and chilled a bit. Recurled my hair, and then at 5 I went to Kevin Miranda's house to help him decorate for the party. After, it was me, Kristina, Michelle D., and Catap chillin and talking. Later on, Rowena, Russell, Matt, Vivian, Greg, Mariel, and a whole bunch of others came. We started trick or treating like at 7pm-ish. We hella split up since there was probably 25+ of us! I was hella skipping around though because I felt like a fairy hahaha. I didn't get much candy, but the past years I got hella candy but never ate it all.

It started sprinkling so we like ran back to Kevin's house and ate. Vivian's dress lit on fire because a candle was on the table with food and her skirt was hella high, so when she was getting food the 2 collided and yeah. I couldn't believe it hahaha! But it wasn't her whole skirt, like just a small part. Now there's hole there. Thank God it wasn't big. The donut game was hilarious, donuts hanging from the ceiling and people couldn't use their hands to eat it. Such beasts! I recorded it but I need to fix it cause it's too big for YouTube. Justin + Catap = monsters. "BOX OUT!!!" Hahaha. Later on, it was just chillin but I got pretty irritated when people were throwing around the glowsticks. I was hella tired though, waking up like at 4:30am to get hair ready that eventually messed up, rugball in PE, running around for trick or treating, etc.

Today, woke up at 6:30am to get ready for Camp Training. Got there early, and then yeah. All what I learned today was pretty much a review of what I learned at the last Camp Training. But this time I have a bigger role, I'm down to do it but pretty nervous. Jesus, I just pray you help guide me through this! For lunch, me, Lisa, RIO<33 and Pam went to In-N-Out then went to Lisa's house to eat it. After we played Apples to Apples, funny stuff! HAHAHA! One of them was like hot and pudgy and Lisa put Drew Carrey, LOL.

Me and Michelle were talking about track. There was an announcement on Friday talking about how there's a meeting for track sprinters and hurdlers like on Thursday. I hella need to get back in shape for track, like HELLA. I haven't seriously ran since track in 8th grade. I've ran occasionally just for fun during the summer, but it didn't help. I really should bounce back onto it. I'm pretty excited and happy I'm going to pull through and do track this year, even though I'm gonna be so damn exhausted because my days are already tiring without it. I'm just scared how I'm actually gonna do now, since I'm sure I lost a whole lot of the skill. We'll see how this goes. Anyone wanna go distance jogging this week? I'm down to go, just lemme know when. If not, I'm probably gonna go hella faaaaar in the area around my house. I miss my damn iPod, I don't know where it went. Music is what keeps me going when I'm running. I'd run with my iPhone, but that's risky because someone might jump me for it and it's a bother when anything is in my pocket when I run.

Wow, hahah. So I'm on my sister's computer and the audio works here, and I hella didn't know that Superhuman was like chipmunk version on my blog. Wowwww, hella ugly! Changed now tho.

I can like... never get tired of this song. I can hella relate to it, that's why.

"I see the couples are walking by
Feel like I don't wanna be alone today
So glad no one can see what I hide deep inside
How it feels to be the girl who never gets the right guy
Tell me why, when there's so much I got to give
I wake up reaching out in the night
Ready to hold him tight til I realize
There's nobody there...

When will it be me?
When will I be the one somebody's dreaming of?
When's it gonna be?
When will I find my heart lying inside the arms
that never let me go?

I'd really like to know... when will it be me?"


1. No need to be so damn loud all the time!
2. I'm glad we've become close again, you're someone I can actually vent to and not worry so much.
3. You don't know how much it hurts and kills me to be around you now, it just hurts pretty bad right now that I can almost cry being next to you... I've already shed some tears. Things are just different now.
4. How are you doing with "things"? I haven't really asked you about it lately, but I should.
5. I don't like how you're so judgemental of people =/ You're too busy looking at their flaws, quit complaining.
6. Let's go running ^________^
7. I must admit, I do get hella jealous of you.
8. I really wish we can get closer but it's kinda hard because it seems like you're not putting any effort into it so maybe I should give up.
9. Not againnnnnnnn.. =)

Sometimes I wonder if I should just let you go. People tell me not to, but if I was in the other position, I wouldn't like that so I don't even wanna do that sht. I don't know, it's just so hard. I guess all I have to do now is hope for the best, well I don't know. I actually don't wanna have any hope, I had high hopes and look where it got me. These burning emotions that just make me wanna cry rivers...