false

"No."

Those words never hit me so hard. That simple 2 letter word is the response I got regarding Discovery Camp. I've never been really rejected of going anywhere that was YFC related, until now. The reasoning? Because my sister wasn't going. When I got that response, my heart cried out in anger, emotionally, not physically, meaning I didn't show it. C'mon now, I need some freakin independence from that. Do I have to follow Gian wherever she goes? Just because she goes somewhere, or doesn't go somewhere, doesn't mean I have to follow as well. One day she's not even gonna go to YFC anymore, does that mean I won't be able to go to YFC? After a few begging and trying to reason and bargain out with my mom, I still received a no. Honestly, it hit me pretty bad. This weekend I've been anticipating it. It's like God was calling me and I've been joyfully walking on this path to get to him, until a stone gate comes out of no where and blocks me out to him. I know I shouldn't react like this, sorry if it sounds like I'm being a baby, but I'm not used to being blocked from God. Well, not exactly blocked, but you get my point. I didn't wanna push things and make them worse, so I just let it be. Tears came to my eyes, but I refused to let them out. I'm going to praypraypray, and just let God provide and let whatever happen. I'm going to keep in my mind whatever happens, happens for a reason, but dang... I'm not used to this. We'll see what happens, but for now, no Disco Camp from me =/

And to add on, I heard progress reports are coming in the mail this week. I have a freakin' C still in Spainsh, there goes my chances of going even more, hella bad timing!!!!!

My cherry on top today? I lost my Pilot pen AND last good pencil. Greattttt, so now I have to ues crappy stuff again =/

To end this in a happier note, listen to "The Nature" by Talib Kweli and Justin Timberlake. I like the song, but didn't really take the time to listen to the lyrics until today, and there's actually some true and meaningful stuff in there.

"It's hard to keep faith in the things that you do when everybody turns their back on you."

EDIT: I'm so mfffreakkkkinnnn determined to change my mom's mind.